Turned Tables
by Sweswe
Summary: Master Hand makes Link and Mario swap partners because he is bored. They should not have anything against it, right? MarioPeach & Zelink
1. Like Two Peas in a Pod

******Turned Tables**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**-o-  
**

**Like Two Peas in a Pod**

* * *

Master Hand usually avoided any kind of interaction with the Smashers. The reason was not that he was a big floating hand, which perhaps could be a tad intimidating, but simply because he never felt like it. Having to do with them in person was about as nice as finding half a caterpillar in your apple after the first bite but they were quite amusing to watch from a safe distance.

This particularly beautiful spring morning, however, Master Hand was bored out of his mind. He had got used to the commotion in the big mansion he had forced the participants in the Super Smash Brothers Tournament to live in. It was just not funny anymore to see Fox crawl across the floor in hope of confiscating any dropped coins, nor was it any interesting to find out what Bowser had, intentionally or unintentionally, broken today. He did not care about Captain Falcon boasting about his many poker victories, which always resulted in a fight with his fellow poker players, or enjoy the children competing in who could make Samus's patience run out first.

Maybe Master Hand could put up with that the Smashers were always getting into the most ridiculous fights on a daily basis and never resolving them enough to avoid repeating the same scenario the following week. What most of all annoyed the founder of the Super Smash Brothers Tournament at the moment were the lovebirds of the house. Like always they were occupying the couch and ignoring the world around them. The snuggling, the cuddling and the cute nicknaming, that had to be the most drab thing in the whole mansion.

"Mario, Peach, Link, Zelda!" Master Hand barked and up from the couch flew the two couples and lined up in front of him. Mario, the famous mustached plumber who was rather short and his attention span shorter still, was absentmindedly eyeing the ceiling; his sweetheart, Princess Peach, was recovering from the shock of being interrupted by fixing her golden locks of hair; Link, the handsome Hylian hero with pointy ears, blew some unruly bangs out of the way, just to have them fall right back; Princess Zelda, also Hylian, coldly scrutinized the hand with evident suspicion in her eyes.

"What can we do for you, Master Hand?" Peach said pleasantly once her hair was in perfect order. She bobbed her head to the side and the round earrings she wore trembled slightly. They had the exact azure color as her big round eyes that always made Master Hand think of her as a big four-eyed monster despite her being the cutest fighter in the house.

"Master Hand," Zelda said and the hand flinched. "What do you want?"

Well, there was hardly any point in beating around the bush, especially if Zelda was involved.

"I am sick of your snuggling, cuddling and cute nicknaming. It is always the same. That is why I have decided that you are to switch partners for… No, until I say that you are to switch back."

Mario looked like he had been hit by a brick (which was kind of ironic seeing as he bumped his head into blocks on his spare time), Peach's already huge eyes grew ten sizes, Link tripped to the floor and Zelda disapprovingly crossed her arms. The Hylian princess's tiny mouth nearly disappeared when she pursed her lips and the hand could sense that there was at least one person who would not let him get away with this easily. He was at least twice her size and his powers were not to be taken lightly, but neither was an angry Zelda.

"B-but Mario and I were planning to catch a movie and maybe eat some cake," Peach objected meekly. The hand's orders were absolute but this was unthinkable. Love was not something one could even wish to control and yet here was Master Hand, planning to rearrange their fates. The Mushroom Kingdom princess tried fervently to come up with some kind of solution and looked at Zelda for assistance.

"When did you come up with this?" Zelda asked casually, unfolding her arms and putting on a smile. Master Hand would not be fooled and was far from tempted to admit that he had just thought of it, but what could he otherwise say?

"That is not important," Master Hand huffed.

"What is the point of this?" Zelda pressed mercilessly while beaming at the hand that subconsciously began to float away from her.

"J-just hook up with Mario for a few days while Peach is together with Link and do what couples do. Trust me you'll be sorry if you refuse, and that's all. I can't stand here and explain things to you dimwits all day."

"Especially since you don't have any legs to actually stand on," Link helpfully pointed out.

Master Hand muttered something unintelligible and floated elsewhere; a place from where he could spy on them without being noticed, like a fly on the wall. Things were certain to get spicier now when he had managed to escape Zelda's badgering. The one obstacle in the way of his brilliant plan. It had its advantages to be the boss of the place.

"What should we do?" Peach asked with her hands pressed to her cheeks. "I don't want to be away from Mario no matter what Master Hand says."

In her desperate need the princess flew at her beloved plumber to seek comfort in his embrace but Zelda extended an arm in her way.

"Zelda, this is not a time to hold back emotions!"

"I do not like this any more than you do, but perhaps we should play along?" Zelda said, gazing at where Master Hand had just disappeared.

"I-a guess," Mario agreed somewhat unwillingly.

At the sound of the familiar voice with its distinguishing Italian accent, Peach attempted to throw herself at Mario again but was yet another time prevented by Zelda.

* * *

Mario was just as obedient as everybody else whenever the hand came with his ludicrous orders – Master Hand was like a child and the harder one fought him the more stubborn he became – but it was near to impossible to imagine himself with anybody other than Peach by his side, even for the shortest of moments. How could they pull that off? The plumber watched how Link stepped up to Peach and put a consoling hand on her shoulder.

The weight of another man's hand was too much for Peach, who was struck hard by the fact that there really was no way out of it. She flung her arms around the Hylian's neck and tried to muffle her sobs against his green tunic. Mario swallowed, not quite sure he was fine with it, but he knew that Peach had always been a bit emotional so maybe he could excuse it.

Link was standing with his arms raised, cringing awkwardly and staring down at the sobbing woman. Zelda raised her chin and did not look more pleased about the situation than Mario. Her hero smiled sheepishly at her, and in response she turned on her heel and marched away.

"You suggested it," Link called out while patting Peach on the back. The Hylian princess whirled back around and returned with a smile as lovely as the prettiest of roses. With thorns.

Mario and Link simultaneously took a step back. Peach pulled away from Link and rubbed her eyes. It had made her feel a little bit better that he had lent her his shoulder to cry on and she still felt his hand comfortingly placed on the small of her back. Having Mario next to her was like having a vortex pulling her in and she needed a lifeline to cling to. She had settled for Link, finding him much kinder than she had ever noticed him to be. Maybe this situation would result in them making friends?

Zelda brushed by Peach and stopped in front of Link, so close that they could feel the body heat radiate from one another.

"Master Hand suggested it," Zelda corrected him. "Although I guess, _since I do not mind,_ that you are free to enjoy yourselves as much as you like. Do whatever you please and I promise that I won't get in your way. After all, it is Master Hand's order and who am I to oppose?"

Mario noticed the color rising on Link's neck and he had to say that he was quite baffled himself. He would never expect Link to make a move on Peach – he would have a hard time watching football with him on Saturdays if that was the case – but that Zelda would suggest that Link would happily cheat on her, and at the same time insinuate that she could not care less if he did, was even harder to imagine. Was that not pushing it too far?

Link pulled Peach closer, something which unnerved Mario more than Zelda's gibes. He shot Link a dark look but could not bring himself to interrupt the argument that was threatening to erupt. He could end up making things worse and then no one would know when Peach would be handed back to him and that was his top priority. Still, could he at least not be allowed to drop a hint by stepping on Link's foot or something?

"Good that you don't care," Link said with a tremble sneaking into his voice. "It would be a real bother to explain it to you in case you had."

Peach had somehow managed to remain unaware of the change of mood and took the two Hylians' words literally.

"Well, I do mind a little," she cut in shyly, throwing a glance at Mario and transferring every bit of love in her heart into that one gaze. She grabbed the sleeve of Link's tunic to avoid walking over to her plumber and inhaled to go on. "But seeing you all being this mature about it really helps me realize that we have to do as Master Hand says. That is the fastest way to end it, right?" She fell silent and then clasped her hand over her mouth when it hit her that minding could be an insult to Link so she quickly added: "Of course any girl would dream of having Link for a boyfriend so that is not why we should hurry."

Link smirked at Zelda who smiled back like nothing in the world would make her happier than having another woman pouncing on her man. Meanwhile Mario was getting fed up with staying silent. He wished that Link would keep Peach out of the argument, or at least refrain from touching her.

"Then, should I make you a cake, Link?" Peach said and Mario who had just been about to take action against the Hylian felt his mouth fall open. His shoulders drooped and he put down the foot that had been the beginning of his first step of action. It felt like there was a hole where his heart should be when he saw Peach grab Link's hand and pull him towards the kitchen.

"Cake," the plumber mumbled plaintively when he watched the pair of them disappear. Cake with sweet berries, whipped cream and mushy crumbs that got stuck in the mustache. Cake baked with love.

* * *

While Peach struggled to tie a neat ribbon behind her back, putting on a frilly apron, she tried her best to make any kind of sense out of this madness. Maybe she could pretend and go along with it but it would be so much easier if she felt that she had a better grasp of the situation.

"Let me help you with that," Link offered and took the ends from her hands.

"Thank you," Peach said and used her now free hand to tap her chin while she frowned at the ceiling.

One: She was now, technically, in a relationship with Link. Two: The logical conclusion would then be that she was in love with him. Three: He was acting very chivalrous, helping her with the apron and all, as if to confirm point one and two.

It really was not that hard when you thought about it. Then how come she could not get Mario out of her head? She smiled at Link over her shoulder, her full lips displaying a shimmer of lipstick, and then felt the ribbon he had tied before she walked over to the refrigerator to get a couple of eggs. Unless she could convince herself that this was a play, a drama, where her three points were reality she would not be able to go through with this. She threw a second quick glance at Link before she knelt and hid behind the cupboard from which she took a bowl.

Maybe it could be fun? When she was little she had always dreamt that a knight in shining armor would come, just like in the fairy tales, valiantly rushing to the fair princess's rescue. In a sense, it had come true because she had been saved by a brave plumber who proved just how far he was willing to go for her sake. Although, it could not be denied that Mario did not look exactly like the princes did in her books. Not that she minded.

Peach would never complain about Mario. He was shorter than she was but he could still reach around her to give her a warm hug. That roundness of his made him very cuddly. The big nose was so very nice to place a big kiss upon. He was also a partner to be proud of on the dance floor when it came to up-tempo dances and she sure liked to shake her leg. But. It was horrible but there was a 'but'. How nice it would be to rest her head against a man's chest and feel a chin rest on top of her head. The allure of slowly running her hands down a muscular torso. Being able to, with the smallest tilt of her head, feel lips on lips. Oh, just imagining the closeness of slow dancing.

Peach took another peek at Link when she began to throw the many ingredients together. She could have gone a bit too far with her fantasies and it made her cheeks flush when she looked at him. One would have to be blind not to see that Link had the looks of a fairy tale hero. Blond hair and built like a Norse god.

"So, what are your interests?" Peach said and giggled. She did not enjoy what the silence was doing to her. Thankfully, and unlike Mario who was often staring at the ceiling and giving her a baffled expression whenever she broke the silence, Link returned her smile.

"Well, I like animals, fishing and just walking around, taking in nature, I guess," Link said. He had been observing how she mixed the eggs and sugar with deep concentration and it caught her off guard when he directed his blue eyes at her when he replied.

"Oh," she said, choosing to stare at the flour she was scooping up, yet she still felt his unwavering gaze on her. "I like taking strolls too. We have so much in common."

"We do."

"They're both idiots," Master Hand mumbled from where he was hiding behind a huge weeping fig in the corner. "But they're pretty good at this."

For the following half hour Link was interrogated by Peach. While she made her infamous "Special Strawberry Cake" she found out everything from his favorite color to his fondest childhood memory.

"Done," the princess declared when she put down an enormous cake that looked like it belonged at a triple wedding in front of the Hylian. No human in their right mind would attempt to eat it on its own. Link even had a hard time imagining that Kirby – the pink puffball that barely reached up to Link's knees but despite his size was renowned for effortlessly consuming any opponent in a fight – could stomach this pink monster of a cake.

What had to be admitted was that the taste was heavenly. The cream was of a perfect consistency, not dominantly thick but not distractingly thin either. The strawberries were sweet but not enough to ruin the sweetness of the batter. It was the kind of delicious dessert that made you eat a lot more than you should.

Set on not disappointing the woman he was supposed to be in love with Link dug in with great enthusiasm. Peach remained at his side, not eating anything herself but smiling warmly at every bite he took. This helped motivate the hero who was the kind who detested being unable to help, but it was not necessarily a good thing to be motivated into eating too much. He was far from halfway through when his stomach began to protest but he forced himself to eat more. The sad thing was that not even his strong will could make the impossible possible. The cake was simply too big.

"Do you like it?" Peach asked.

"Delishioush," Link replied with his mouth full, no longer feeling the taste.

The Hylian wiped his mouth with the side of his left leather gauntlet. He would have to face that he could not eat a single crumb more. Swallowing some saliva, hoping to be rid of the stomachache, he put aside the tiny fork and faced Peach.

"How about I repay you?"

Peach blinked twice, her long eyelashes fluttering. This was quite unexpected. Usually she was the one doing the repaying and she enjoyed giving. It was a sign of gratitude and it felt very, very odd to her that she would receive something in return for something that was meant to show her own appreciation.

"We could go on a date or something," Link suggested.

"What a marvelous idea!" Peach exclaimed. Excitement spread like ants from the tips of her toes to the top of her head at this idea. She was convinced. She could already imagine it, like something out of a romantic movie. There would be champagne, a toast to her eyes and a dazzling smile in her direction. Ah, it was as if Link was created for such smiles.

"And I thought that maybe you could choose–"

"You'll really let me choose where we'll go? Anywhere?" Peach cut off Link and jumped forwards so that she nearly head-butted him. "Oh, I've always wanted to go to The Triumph Fork."

Link was about to tell her that perhaps that was not exactly what he had meant. He had been about to say that she could choose if she wanted to go horseback riding through the woods or take a coffee and tart at a café, which would have agreed better with his wallet, but her eager eyes and her high voice practically singing out her pleasure made the words dissolve before his lips could form them.

"Of course I'll take you to The Triumph Fork," Link said, putting on a grin but his eyes straying from the princess.

* * *

The Triumph Fork was not the most exclusive restaurant of some small rural village. The Super Smash Brothers Tournament was a huge event taking place in the capital city of one of the most prosperous countries in the world and the restaurant was located in said capital. There was not a single living being, or living dead for the matter, who did not know of the restaurant, but people were also aware that it was only a place for Gladstone Ganders and Scrooge McDucks.

Huge golden letters hung above the extravagant entrance along with five ridiculously big stars, as if there could ever be a lack of faith in the reputation of the place. First-class restaurant or not, it was probably just golden color painted on aluminum. With a maximum width of about 3,6 meters and height of 2,6 meters per character, one letter would approximately weigh 25-30 kilos Link calculated when they stood before the massive building. If a letter fell down it would be an instant kill. Pray one would.

"Link, how long are we going to stand here?" Peach said.

The princess subtly tried to hint at her own impatience by tugging at Link's arm. She saw no point in standing just outside a door, staring up the side of a building. Even if there was such a thing as a person that did not find it boring beyond understanding, or at least remotely weird, it was incomprehensible that somebody could willingly block the entrance for other people.

"I just thought that perhaps you changed you mind," Link said.

"Now, why would I do that?" Peach giggled and hugged his arm to avoid bursting into fits of laughter. Link sure was a funny fellow. She could not see at all how Zelda could be so stiff with someone like him constantly around.

"There's this new place called Cooking Mama. Would you like to check it out?" Link said, trying to keep a flicker of hope alive.

"I heard that they let anyone into their kitchen. I don't mean to be rude, because I think it is a lovely idea to give people a chance to learn, but I think that we should give that place some time before going there."

"McBallyhoo's?" Link tried desperately.

Peach laughed, a sound like jingling bells. "Junk food? It's perhaps not the most romantic atmosphere. I know that fast food can be good if you're in a hurry but that is hardly a place to go to on your first important date, is it?"

Peach wondered if she had said something wrong when Link suddenly cleared his throat and looked away. Maybe he really liked fast food?

"I did not mean to say that the food is bad. I quite enjoy a hamburger every now and then," Peach added. She could not know that Link had been reminded of the last time he took Zelda out. To McBallyhoo's.

He always took her there, insisting she should be treated every once in a while. Zelda as good as always brought up that she should be the one to pay, at least for herself, or that they did not need to go out that often but truth to be told either option would hurt his pride. She always gave in and he had taken it as a sign that she was fine with it, maybe even happy beneath the surface. Now when he thought back on it she had looked a bit out of mood last time they went out, coldly staring at the little flag that came with her Jolly Meal.

"Isn't quantity better than quality?" Link asked Peach.

"Oh, quantity is definitely better," Peach said. "I would much rather go out often than wait for the money to pile up. Isn't it more important that you get to spend time together?"

"I couldn't agree more," Link said. Zelda had never understood that, no matter how hard he had tried to explain it. At times he doubted that she even wanted to go out with him and here was Peach, getting it without the smallest explanation. "So, how about McBallyhoo's?"

"No, no, no, please, I am perfectly satisfied with The Triumph Fork."

* * *

(A/N)

Today I felt that I just had to finish something to post. It was a while ago that I last found the time to write, and I missed writing when I got the chance to come with a few suggestions to Cimar of Turalis's _Darkest Before the Dawn_. Good writing is inspiring, isn't it? Then I found this old thing lying around on my hard-drive. As I had planned this story to be only about three chapters long I was going to finish the whole thing before I posted it, but that did not really work out. I worked a bit on what I had and decided to post it.

This story might not seem like a MarioPeach or Zelink one at this point but I am not intending to throw in any surprises where the pairings are concerned. This is not supposed to be that kind of story.

Thank you for reading. I hope that you enjoyed the first chapter.


	2. An Ounce of Prevention

**Turned Tables**

* * *

(**N.B: **This text used to be the second half of the first chapter, but it got too wordy so I decided to split it in two. This means that if you have previously read this story you will need to move on to the third chapter to read a new one. Sorry for any inconvenience)

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**-o-**

**An Ounce of Prevention Is Worth a Pound of Cure**

* * *

Women were hard to satisfy. Link sighed and glanced at the woman who clung to his arm and expressed nothing but sheer appreciation, unaware that he could not afford to let her eat at The Triumph Fork. Yet her warmth in contrast to Zelda's silent critique made it impossible for his feet to turn around.

The couple walked down the long red carpet to where a man with a Dalí mustache and greasy hair parted in the middle welcomed them. If one were to be more specific, Peach was the one who received the warm welcome. The man flashed a toothy smile that made Link suspect that his jaw would break, until the second Link entered the man's field of vision and the smile vanished quicker than Olimar's Pikmin. The Hylian was eyed with open disapproval from his thick brown boots to the green hat on top of his head. Link's response to this was to return the stare with equal dislike. His gaze moved down the tight black vest, the shirt green as pine needles to the patent-leather shoes. He would not wear anything like that if he so was paid for it.

"'Ow many?" the man asked with a clear French accent. In contrast to his snarky expression he sounded quite friendly.

"Table for two," Link said with slight hesitance and tried his best not to look at Peach adoringly batting her eyelashes at him.

"Thiz way, s'il vous plaît."

If only Link could have known that those words were the beginning of a lunch more awful than he could ever have imagined. Already at the beginning things went wrong. Both the waiter and Peach gave him weird looks when he sat down without pulling out the chair for his lady and he had to endure death glares for not ordering anything except for a glass of water.

An unknowing Peach unabashedly ordered entrée, main dish and a chocolate mousse with raspberries for dessert. Link did perhaps not act like a true Romeo but he explained that her wonderfully tasty cake had made him more than satisfied and that he was convinced that anything would taste bad after such a delicious dessert so he could not eat. He kindly accepted her toast but did to her disappointment not dedicate it to her eyes or something else romantic, which Mario would have. Peach tried her best to be happy when their glasses touched and the soft but clear chink reached her ears. She had to remind herself at which restaurant she was eating.

"Link, thank you for bringing me here," Peach said after swallowing and brought the wine glass away from her rosebud lips. She watched how he cringed and saw something that resembled distress in his eyes when they met hers. Frankly speaking, she enjoyed the complexity. It was so unlike her simple ordinary life that she could forget that she was the only one having dinner, which was lonely. Although Link had made a few small blunders he had really made an effort for her sake.

"You have to let me repay you," she said.

"No, no," he insisted. "I wanted to do something for you to thank you for making me that cake. Anything else wouldn't feel right. If you're happy, then I'm happy."

Peach took another sip of wine. It was not enough in the glass to make her tipsy anyway, although she felt warmer. It had become difficult to meet Link's gaze. She did not want to be pampered. She wanted to pamper.

"There must be something I can do," Peach said and forced her mouth to smile wider that it usually did.

"Really, there's no need," Link said. Beads of sweat were beginning to become visible on his forehead and he raised his glass to cool himself off with some water, only to realize that he had already emptied it.

"I insist, Linky-poo."

"No, I do, Peachums."

"How about a horse for my elven prince?"

"I'm not an e… forget it. No, I already have a great horse, doll. How would you like some flowers and and going for a ride?"

"How about going to the opera instead, sweetie pie? They are performing The Magic Flute this month. I've always wanted to see it."

"If you want to see it I can take you, my little Peach pastry."

Peach's loud giggle carried across the room. A stout lady snorted in disapproval and threw a look over her shoulder to see who dared to make such unscrupulous noise at The Triumph Fork. As it turned out it was not the couple that she first caught sight of but a man so strange that she had to take a second look, which was quite remarkable since talking turtles and electric mice would not make anyone bat an eyelash. The man looked like a ghost with sunglasses, tall and white, with arms that were about as thick as his body. What one would notice upon closer examination was that his left arm was quite a bit shorter and stubbier than his right one.

The snobby woman looked away, not the least interested in such an odd creature besides wondering who let him in. If Link or Peach had been the one to look instead they would immediately have been able to recognize Master Hand using his thumb and middle finger as arms to balance a newspaper and wearing a pair of sunglasses squeezed around the tip of his index finger. As things were though, they never noticed.

"Your check, Monsieur," the waiter interrupted Peach and Link's exchange of terms of endearment.

"How much should we tip him?" Peach whispered, leaning out of her chair and glancing at the waiter strutting off to let them sort out the payment.

Link tapped his fingers on the table, his eyes darting all over the place.

"Well…"

"Thirty percent is not too much, is it?"

Link put his hand over Peach's and the princess gasped, her gaze softening when landing on the back of his hand that covered her smaller one. She did not need to look at his face to have the blood rush to her cheeks and she therefore chose not to move her gaze.

"Look at me."

Against better reason Peach obeyed and shyly raised her head. His bangs were falling in front of his eyes again but he did nothing about it. She would have liked to brush them back but decided against it. Looking past his blond hair into his eyes made her vision blurry and she would surely blush even more if his bangs were out of the way so instead she let her gaze follow the sharp outlining of his face.

"There is something that I have to tell you. It can't wait any longer."

There was a long pause before Peach finally found the courage to meet his gaze and the couple looked at each other, both hesitant of what to say next. Master Hand held his breath, wondering if this was the moment of confession.

"I forgot my wallet at home."

A moment of confession, indeed.

"I," Peach began and drew back, her hand staying underneath his. "Never bring my wallet to dates."

Link leaned back in his chair when he received this bad news. A part of him had hoped that the excuse would be his escape but what could he do now? He ran his fingers through his hair, sighing because he felt that his sense of reasoning was slipping away. Like fate would often have it, making things worse at the worst possible time, that was the very moment when the waiter chose to return.

"What should we do?" Peach whispered in panic, having followed Link's gaze.

"Leave it to me," Link mumbled, eyes staying locked on the approaching threat, and Peach decided that she should give him another chance. He might have put them in this situation but at least he would take responsibility and solve everything. She had to trust him because she was supposed to love him.

"Êtes-vous sateesfied?"

Peach's heart was beating so hard that it blocked out all sound. She knew that she had to keep her cool as not to appear too suspicious but it was not a specialty of hers. The corner of her mouth twitched when she tried to prevent herself from fixing her hair, she put the fork at a better angle over and over and shifted her eyes about too much. The waiter's smile that Peach had found so very lovely before suddenly frightened her and she had trouble smiling back. She trusted Link, she told herself. He would find a resolve.

"Thanks for the food," Link cried and pulled Peach out of her chair. The waiter stumbled back a few steps, crying out "mon Dieu!" in the process and the couple took the opportunity to make their way past him. It caused quite a bit of tumult when they ran for the exit but it was mostly just people making a lot of noise and nothing more serious than a few distraught gasps and fainting fits. The melodramatic reaction of the guests would almost have one believe that Link had fired a gun and told them that they were all held hostage. Either way, no one moved as much as a pinky in an attempt to stop the couple from escaping their tab.

* * *

Master Hand observed the chaos his two protégées left behind, where one for instance could find a man shaking an unconscious woman, in a rather flashy red dress, and a garçon weeping over what had started out as a splendid five star dinner before he was shoved to the side and had dropped it on the floor.

"_Imbécile_," the maître d' cried at the poor garçon. It really was the only thing he could do anything about with guests theatrically tumbling to the floor left and right.

By the help of simple deductive inference, Master Hand came to the only logical conclusion: From hereby on the Super Smash Brothers Tournament disclaimed all responsibility for any offense caused by any individual participant of the tournament and withheld its rights to refuse compensation for damage caused by actions necessary to take against a participant. One of these actions would for instance be to follow Link and Peach immediately, and thus leave before he had paid for his food, which he did.

Once the hand found the happy couple, which did not take long thanks to how quickly he had acted, they were trying hard to gloss over the cracks that had begun to show in their relationship. Peach was rubbing her lower arm and letting all her emotions out in a long lecture, standing with her back towards the corner Master Hand hid behind, and Link was opening and closing his mouth while searching for the first best opportunity to cut her off.

"I thought that you were going to break my arm off," Peach said in a shrill voice, now rubbing her shoulder.

"I just wanted to make sure that we got away safely. You could have told me to slow down."

"How could you possibly ever think that I'd be able to keep up with you in _these_?" Peach cried and lifted the long pink skirt of her dress to make her red pumps visible. The heels would have made any pop singer jealous.

"Well, don't you fight people in those?" Link retorted.

"When I do that I don't run as if I were in the Olympics."

"What would you have had me do instead then?"

"For starters you could have done the right thing, taken your responsibility and stayed at that restaurant."

"Look, I'll go back there and pay as soon as I have the money. Anything else would be theft. Do you think I'm some kind of criminal?"

"What does it matter? I will never be able to show my face there again!" Peach clasped her hands over her face and began to sob uncontrollably. Link's face twisted in bothered concern at her depressed form. He could not stand it when a girl cried, and Zelda had never been one who easily allowed herself to openly break into tears or even seek his comfort.

"And you don't care that I did it all for you?" Link all but yelled, clenching his hands into fists and taking one step closer to her.

"If you really cared about me you would not have lied to me and embarrassed me like that."

"Embarrassed you?" Link said, his voice shaking. If only Peach had been aware that she was stomping with her trendy shoes right over his heartfelt wish to live up to her expectations but she was far too upset for that. The man she had chosen to share her life with would know better than to expect her to agree with such foul business as she had just been forced to endure.

She crossed her arms.

"Mario would nev–"

"If it isn't Link and Peach. My, fancy meeting you here," Master Hand said when he floated around the corner and the shocked princess pulled of a gasp so amazing it sent her into coughing fits like a cat coughing up the hairball of century.

Peach raised her head after having doubled over with tears of shame burning in her eyes. How disgraceful of a princess. To make matters worse Link, who had been arguing with her, had immediately given her a few good pounds on the back to help her stop her embarrassing coughs.

"Are you having a fight?" Master Hand asked innocently. If they were, which he sadly had to suspect, they could say goodbye to any chance of being reunited with their exes before the end of the month. Here he had gone through the trouble of finding them much better partners than those boring old ones and this was how they thanked him? If they were going to break up now, could they not two-time or do something a bit more normal? Like on television? Then he might have been able to forgive them.

"What if we are?" Link snapped and glared at the hand while he held Peach, who had almost recovered by now, around the shoulders to give her some support.

"Then I say that it would be too bad because it would make it hard for you to stay in love and together _until Christmas_," Master Hand said, raising his voice at the end. It was the middle of summer and quite a bit longer than a mere month before one could even begin to prepare things like Christmas presents. Anyhow, it was all right to exaggerate a little to make them realize the seriousness of the situation, was it not? A month would not threaten anybody.

Link and Peach, he holding on to her and she leaning on to him, exchanged a glance that clearly said that they were far from thrilled about the possibility of staying madly in love with each other for half a year. Since they seemed to be on the same page the Hylian vehemently pulled the princess closer and she passionately clung onto him at the same time.

"Just a little lovers' spat," they said in unison and flashed their best smiles at their boss.

"Great, I knew that you would not disappoint me."

The couple, still with arms wrapped around one another, peered at each other and silently agreed that Master Hand's words could be taken as a sign that it was fine to go home. If they stayed here the date would without a doubt become their last one. It would not be worth finding out what level they could bring their argument to.

"Honey, let's forget all of this," Link said. He did not want to try to explain things to her any longer. If it was Zelda he would definitely have been stuck here until nightfall but this was Peach. Maybe he had interpreted things correctly, that all of this could be swept under the carpet and forgotten.

"I can't stay mad at you, Linky-poo," Peach cooed.

Master Hand watched the two of them with great satisfaction.

* * *

(A/N)

I mentioned in my last note that this is not a Link/Peach or Mario/Zelda story. As a reviewer called it as such I feel that I better repeat that this is not the case. I would rather not disappoint or mislead anyone and I am clearly making a poor job at letting the story say this in my place.

So, just to get it out there what the intention was: For Peach this is an opportunity to see if the grass really is greener on the other side. She can see what she "misses out on" with Mario without giving Mario up or being unfaithful. She is not really interested in Link but simply applying her own ideas onto him.

Link is trying to do the right thing as always and he did go along with this only because it was Zelda's idea. Is he truly interested in Peach? I would say that there is a reason why he constantly compares the princesses. There is one in particular who he wishes would see only his good sides.

We still have yet to see how things will unfold for Zelda and Mario. This story will probably end up longer than planned because I decided to go with shorter chapters.

Thank you very much for reading and special thanks to the reviewers who brightened my day.


	3. Opposites Attract

******Turned Tables**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**-o-**

**Opposites Attract**

* * *

Mario and Zelda were sitting on either side of the couch, as far away from each other as it would let them. The television was turned off and every attempt at starting a conversation had fallen short. To say that the mood was awkward would be an understatement.

The plumber was usually good at getting along with people – provided that the other person at least threw in a few words to create a dialogue – but this was certainly not the case with Zelda. She made it very troublesome to get a conversation going, never asking any questions back and never replying with a single superfluous syllable.

"So-a, you're a principesse?" Mario said.

"Yes."

"Tough-a with all the kidnappings-a?"

"At times."

"Maybe I-a could save you sometime?"

"Perhaps."

If only they could find something – anything – that they had in common. It was no wonder that Peach and Link got along as disturbingly well as they did. Both were optimists, eager givers rather than takers, talkative, stubborn and childishly fond of attention from their loved ones. Actually, Mario was surprised that Peach had not left him for Link a long time ago and, looking at Zelda, he could not see why Link had never become a serious rival for Peach's attentions.

He was starting to lose interest in making Zelda open up but if he just walked away it could turn out to be a problem. One never knew if Master Hand was lurking around nearby. He had a tendency to hide at such obvious places that one never expected to find anything there.

"What-a do you know, it's-a raining," Mario thought aloud when his gaze had wandered all the way over to the window. "It's-a pouring down and it-a was sunny just a few minutes ago-a."

The door swung open, giving Mario a good excuse to stay silent, and because Master Hand had made sure that the house was built without an entrance hall – the reason was that he felt discriminated by the fact that he had no coat to hang up – Link and Peach walked straight into the living room. They stood in a puddle of rainwater and behind loomed the giant shape of Master Hand who, judging by how he floated up and down, was in a good mood despite the weather.

"_Great-a_," Mario thought. If he had known that Master Hand had been out he could have avoided Zelda without suffering the consequences and he would not have been sitting here, ready to witness Peach and Link sharing a blanket to dry off or doing something else romantic. Pasta would not be able to make up for this.

"All this fighting gets kind of boring in the long run but you lovebirds really brighten up this place," Master Hand said. The corners of Peach and Link's mouths twitched when they tried to keep the grins plastered on their faces intact.

"Yes, we are so in love," Peach said through gritted teeth.

"I'd propose if I wasn't broke."

Peach's strained smile gave in and vanished in the blink of an eye. Her bangs were hanging in the way of her eyes like a waterlogged sponge that leaked cold water on her face. Her natural curls had gained a weight of five kilos and turned frizzy. Her laced dress with its many petticoats was dirtied at the hem and heavier than armor. Her makeup was fighting extermination. All of this, she had thought to be because of a small mistake, a forgotten wallet, and now she found out that he had never had any money in the first place?

Mario noticed Zelda tense up when the word "propose" was mentioned. He was also bothered, but not by these forced words spoken with such exhaustion. Zelda was one of the more levelheaded Smashers and he had not thought that she would have taken something like that to heart.

Mario and Peach had already discussed getting engaged since way back. In a roundabout way they already were. Peach would walk on clouds for a week whenever marriage was brought up and Mario had a feeling that the wedding was already planned to the smallest detail. The only preparation he had done was looking at rings but it was important that the proposal came as a nice surprise even if they had already agreed somewhat on being wed.

Every now and then the topic had come up when talking with Link. If he thought back on it, Mario could piece together that the Hylian had been uncomfortable whenever marriage was brought up. If Link was asked about Zelda he would mumble something about politics, heritage or how she trusted his feelings without creating a marital circus. Maybe Mario had reason to worry that Link could so easily blurt out the word "propose" when Peach was the would-be bride?

"Look at you two!"

Master Hand was making his way over to Mario and Zelda who were still having some generous space between them. Their boss made a sweeping gesture at their former lovers, by mistake knocking Popo the Ice Climber to the ground.

"Link and Peach are the only ones spreading some love around here and you dare call yourselves a couple? When you two became an item I expected whispers of love to warm the rest of the Smashers' hearts but look at your pathetic behavior. No one would even take you two for friends."

Master Hand's lecture went on for another good ten minutes and Mario glanced over at Zelda when he felt waves of murderous intent radiate from her direction. What he found was a princess smiling brightly at the hand, absorbing every insult and reprimand like fuel. A chill went down his spine and he wondered what was wrong with Master Hand. Could he not sense that he was juggling with dynamite?

"Mario, you're not listening to me!" Master Hand yelled.

"Sorry-a," Mario muttered. He might be unnerved but he pitied the princess. Everybody was watching them, Link and Peach included. While Link appeared to have succeeded at romancing his new love interest with splendor, Zelda was being lectured. In the end, she had been the one unable to go through with what she herself had suggested.

"Mario, you're still not listening," Master Hand said after interrupting himself a second time. Zelda was now smiling in a way that made one feel like bubbles and sparkles would fill up the air around her. Well, bubbles of poisonous gas and sparkles of fire in a sea of inflammable oil.

"I-a don't-a have to," Mario said and Master Hand sunk closer to the ground like dark forces were beginning to stir and pulling him down. Who dared to say that they stood above his scolding? "I-a just invited Zelda to go out-a with me. Do we still look like friends-a?"

"It's raining," Link interjected, for some reason.

"Don't-a care," Mario said. "I-a want to spend some time-a with my Zellie."

It was as though the fake smile and the tension around Zelda dissolved like dark ash gone with the wind. In its place the corners of her mouth gently, almost with uncertainty, formed a smile much better suited for her lips. The hard gaze softened and the blue irises bashfully tried to hide behind her eyelashes as if she was not sure whether or not to show such an expression. At last Mario was beginning to understand what charm Link had found in Princess Zelda.

The Hylian princess stood up, fidgeting with her gloves. Mario caught sight of Peach pouting at him. His gaze instantly jumped to Link whose eyes were narrowing at him. Who cared? If the hero had a problem with it he should have thought about that before eating Peach's cake. Mario sauntered past the wet pair and flipped up and umbrella from the stand beside the door.

"After you," he said and opened the door for Zelda.

"Thank you," she said and brushed by him, not giving Peach, Master Hand or Link a single glance.

And so they stood on the front porch with the door closed behind them. Zelda's shoulders slumped. Her smile was still in place, still sincere, but her eyebrows were pulled together to form a sad wrinkle between them. She would probably have been happier if she had been dripping wet and shuddering from cold together with Link. Mario could relate. It had not been easy walking out on Peach doing her infamous pout.

"Thank you," Zelda said again now that they were alone. "I'm sorry that I'm such a bore."

What was one supposed to say to that? She had been a bit of a bore but he did not dislike her because of a small thing like that. He shrugged and was about to put up the umbrella when he stopped and grinned sheepishly at the princess.

"Do you mind-a?" he said and held it out for the taller woman who shook her head and looked slightly amused when she accepted it.

"Not at all."

* * *

There was a nice pitter-patter above their heads once the umbrella was shielding them from the falling raindrops. Zelda walked with a fist of her dress in her hand to keep it off the ground. Her arms moved in sync with her legs and the long skirt twisted back and forth.

"Where-a should we go?" Mario asked. "We should probably get inside-a."

"I don't mind the rain," she said but then noticed the look on his face. "How about checking out this store then?"

The princess pointed at the shop they were just passing by, a small one with dark windows. None of them were enthusiastic about it but it would be impolite of him to turn down her offer and she could not go back on something she had said for his sake, because it would be both rude and selfish. A jingling sound of a bell sounded when they stepped inside the store and things looked quite orderly, although the assortment was strange. It ranged from garden tools to toys and from stationary to furniture.

Zelda walked over to one of the many desks to take a closer look on a few rolls of wallpaper. When she bent forward, arching an eyebrow at the colorful flower pattern, Mario noticed a short little thing dawdling up behind her.

"Zelda, uh, I-a mean Zellie. There's a beaver behind-a you."

Zelda swirled around, lifting her heels while keeping her feet together, and raised her arms. Hardly a second later her shocked face was replaced by a neutral one when she saw the creature that did not even reach up to her waist.

"It is a raccoon, I am quite sure, although they are usually no larger than about half a meter. Well, some have a body length that goes over seventy centimeters but this one is still remarkably large. I do wonder who dressed it in a blue apron."

"You sure-a know a lot about animals-a," Mario said, not quite sure if he should be disturbed or impressed.

Zelda's cheeks took on a red color that contrasted greatly to her pale skin while she mumbled something about never being allowed outside and always reading about the wonders outside her window.

"I'm a tanuki, not a raccoon, but it's an easy enough mistake to make. You're a princess I take it?" the peculiar creature said and ignored their stares. It could not be the first time they heard an animal talk. He peered up at Zelda's forehead. "That crown sure looks nice. Are you here to sell?"

"N-no."

"A shame, a real shame. Well, I'm Tom Nook. What can I do for you?"

Mario stepped up to shake Nook's paw and the animal's round eyes widened to the size of ping-pong balls when he saw the red cap, matching sweater and denim overalls. Such a casual Big Bro look could only be worn in the correct manner by one person, at least the cap with the red "M".

"And I'm–"

"Super Mario! Big fan, big fan. And this must be the lovely Princess Peach?" Tom Nook said and shook Mario's hand with great enthusiasm before he turned back to the princess and grabbed her hand with both paws. "Big fan."

"Actually, I'm Princess Zelda of Hyrule," Zelda introduced herself and pulled her hand back.

Tom Nook's eyes narrowed in suspicion and his gaze darted to and fro between the two. He scratched his chin and his face crunched into a grimace that made the dark mask-like pattern on his face nearly disappear in the wrinkles that formed.

"And you're a couple?" he finally said.

"Yes-a."

"Pink dress, blonde hair, crown… Do you get kidnapped occasionally?"

"Occasionally, yes."

"Yes, yes. Works for me. Okay, then, what can I do for you?"

"Oh, we're just looking around," Zelda said.

"That won't do, that won't do. You're out on a date, right? Then you must buy something to remember this wonderful day."

* * *

Outside the thunder roared louder and louder and the raindrops poured down from the grey sky like a waterfall. Huddled up against the dark windows were two figures crouching under a pink umbrella.

Peach sighed and tried to avoid dirtying her dress. The size of the skirt made it so that she would have had a hard time shielding it with the umbrella if she had been alone, and now she had to share the precious space with Link. She took an armful of the skirt and tried to move closer to him. The rain droplets on the window made it hard to see anything but it seemed as if Mario and Zelda did nothing more interesting than talk to a beaver with a striped tail.

"Look at that little stalker," Link muttered and Peach rubbed some rain off the glass to get a better look inside. Zelda and Mario were walking around the small store with the beaver no less than a step behind them. Every now and then Zelda threw a glance over her shoulder or tried to make a quick turn but Tom Nook kept close, staring up her back with his round eyes.

"The beaver is kind of cute," Peach said.

"It's a raccoon," Link said. "A perverted raccoon," he added under his breath.

"Well, I'm sorry for thinking it was a beaver."

Peach stuck her nose in the air and pouted at the inside of the store. It took a while for her to see that Mario had just bought Zelda some stationary and that the princess was reaching out to accept the bag from Nook. Her lips moved but Peach could not guess what was being said and the only thing she saw of Mario was the back of his head. It happened to be so that a huge desk displaying floor tiles stood in the way of most of her plumber.

"Oh, just look at her acting all grateful and innocent," Peach huffed when Zelda after a moment of hesitation gave Mario a quick and awkward hug of thanks. It was more of a pat on the back, actually. "She's obviously trying to seduce him."

"Seduce him?" Link cried out, aghast. "Move over."

"Ow, don't push a lady," Peach cried back and elbowed him when he tried to move closer under the small umbrella.

"I didn't push you. When did you get so close to me anyway?"

"Excuse me for trying to keep you dry."

Peach scuffled away from him, taking her umbrella with her, and Link stubbornly remained where he was, glaring at her in the rain before he looked back into the store. The second he did his breath got stuck in his throat and he pressed himself closer to the window.

"What does that Casanova think he's doing? Get those dirty Italian gloves offa her!"

"She's the one all over him," Peach argued as she made her way back to peek at the upsetting scene.

"Zelda's not the type to make a move on anyone."

"Well, my Mario is too much of a gentleman to try anything on a first date. I have to host big parties and bribe him with cake to even get him to visi– "

"I have to break into Zelda's castle to see her at all, and even when I succeed she's always busy with work or someth–"

"Don't interrupt me!"

"What? All you ever do is talk. I'd be stuck listening to you all day if I did not interrupt. It always has to be about you, doesn't it?"

"Same goes for you."

The sound of a bell signaled that the door to the store opened and Peach and Link put an end to their bickering to crawl around the nearest corner.

"Aww, my dress got all dirty," Peach sighed and tried to brush off some of the brown mud. Link hushed at her and she frowned at him while he peeked around the corner at Zelda and Mario, who had just exited and folded up their umbrella.

"Did you hear something, Mario?"

"No, but I-a thought I-a saw something pink."

"Pink?"

Link glared accusingly at Peach over his shoulder and she glared back.

"I-a don't-a think you have to worry, Zellie," Mario said. "And I'm-a here if anything happens."

"Thank you," Zelda said and lowered her head in thought for a few seconds before she faced him again. "I don't quite know how to respond, but I'm grateful, Mario. It was really sweet of you to buy me that stationary. No one has ever really given me a gift without there being a special occasion before. I guess what I am trying to say is that I can't believe you noticed that I liked this pattern, and you got it for me even when I could have bought it myself. You didn't have to."

"What about the flowers I always give her?" Link said, stunned by how conversational the quiet Zelda was all of a sudden. Peach could only see his back but she thought that she distinguished a hint of hurt in his voice. It eased some of her annoyance, but not all of it.

"It's-a kind of a special occasion," Mario said. "It's-a our first date. But I-a would have bought it-a even if it-a weren't. I-a think you should smile more-a often."

Zelda could not help but to smile when she heard those words. Truth to be told, she felt like crying too. It was strange how unfamiliar it felt to hear someone say that it truly wished for one's happiness. "I am really happy, and I love the present," she said. "It's pretty _and_ practical."

"Practical?" Peach whispered.

"Of course Zelda must like it if it's _practical_," Link mumbled and rolled his eyes. He was quite torn. On one hand he wanted to teach Mario the consequences of buying stuff for somebody else's woman, and on top of that tried to smooth-talk her. On the other hand, he wanted to know exactly what it was about that insignificant gift that made Zelda look so happy that she could cry. Her cheeks looked rosy. Her eyes shimmered. He had always assumed that a princess like her would not want petty things like that, and so he had never bought them. He took her out to dinner a couple of times a week instead. Was that wrong?

"Link must-a have fallen in love with your smile-a," Mario stated and both Link and Peach slipped to the ground.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Link asked out loud, clearly not pleased. "He's making a move on her?"

"Who's making a move on whom?" a voice behind them boomed just as Link was in the middle of struggling to get to his feet as quickly as possible to intervene. The voice made him fall to the ground again, and he rubbed the back of his head when he got up and turned around. He knew that voice.

"M-Master Hand, what a pleasant surprise," Peach said just as Mario and Zelda rounded the corner.

"What's all the noise about? Oh."

The two of them came to an abrupt halt at the sight of the soaked and muddy princess and Hylian hero, and behind them the looming form of Master Hand that was emerging from the darkness of the alley. More ominous than ever.

"You four have got some explaining to do."

* * *

(A/N)

I completely forgot about this story (makes me sound really reliable, doesn't it?). I had looked forward to writing the part about Mario and Zelda too. I have more in store, or rather, Master Hand has more in store for our darling couples.

I hope that you enjoyed the chapter. My most sincere thanks to all you readers, and an extra thanks to those of you who took the time to make my day with a review. I really appreciate it.


	4. Best Defense Is Good Offense

******Turned Tables**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**-o-**

**Best Defense Is Good Offense**

* * *

"A double date? You are really getting the hang of this I must say," Master Hand said, floating behind the two couples. Link and Peach, both dragging their feet through puddles of water, glared at Mario and Zelda sharing an umbrella in front of them. Peach let her shoulder support most of the weight of her own umbrella, and it barely covered her. Link walked through the drizzle without any other shelter than his green hat that was hanging miserably down his back.

"Yeah, if someone would stop treating his date as if she were a piece of clay in a pottery class. Better just get ourselves back home as soon as possible," Link said, his frustration unconcealed.

"And it would be nice if _someone _would stop behaving as if she had just jumped out of a cake on her date's bachelor party," Peach said.

Master Hand's belching laughter echoed down the empty street. "Blonds are so simple. As usual, Link only thinks of mud and Peach of cake. Together you become mud cake. You're the perfect couple. Don't you agree, Mario? Zelda?"

Mario and Zelda both felt the deluge of blood lust from the other couple. Zelda had stiffly tried to keep her distance under the small umbrella. Mario in turn had made no attempt to say the smallest word to her, but Link and Peach were just like two children watching some brat licking the lollipop they had been saving up money for. How could one reply to Master Hand without making things worse?

""Link is-a very lucky," Mario said, and Zelda was grateful that he took the initiative as she was far from in the mood for it. All she wanted was to return home and find herself some private time to calm down. Mario had almost been able to make her relax, and after the others had shown up it had all been ruined.

Peach's grip around her umbrella loosened. Her cerulean eyes gazed, softer than the light touch of the rain, on the short man's back. Was Mario implying that he missed her? Link's eyes on the other hand was shifting between Mario and Zelda. A shadow seemed to have fallen over his blue irises as he intently watched for any sign that Zelda was the reason he was lucky.

"What's that supposed to mean?" the Hylian demanded after a whole eight seconds.

"That I am right – and I am always right," Master Hand said before anyone could open its mouth.

"Yes, Master Hand, you are always right," Zelda said. "It was an excellent suggestion to try to catch the bus instead of having you or me teleport us back home."

Master Hand hovered on the spot. "I didn't think you could teleport that far," he said after a moment of silence.

Zelda pressed the umbrella close to her chest as she squeezed her arms together and cocked her head to the side. Peach would have trouble looking as endearing and innocent. "Of course_ I_ would _never _be able to teleport _that far._ Hence why it was such a _splendid idea _of yours to take the bus. I was only a _teensy bit _surprised that _you _could not bring us home faster." Zelda sighed and looked at the grey sky with plaintive eyes. "And I have _always admired_ your _great _powers."

"Admired?" Link said.

"I, uh, was kind of looking forward to seeing you get along on the way back," Master Hand said, but his cringing gave away that he was flattered. "Although I guess that you can all show me how much you love each other at home."

With the snap of Master Hand's fingers the group disappeared with a poof and landed on top of Donkey Kong in the living room of their house. Well, everybody except for Master Hand who was levitating like he always did.

"Sorry, Donkey Kong," Peach said and tried to move off the big ape. Sadly, she was close to immobile in her position, surrounded by the layers of her petticoats.

Link reached for Zelda from behind to help her get to her feet. Her head moved slightly towards him, enough for him to see her chilly gaze, before she rose and with elegant steps walked away. His outstretched hands twitched. How could she still be mad at him? He had not wanted to fight in the first place. She had started it by saying that Peach could go ahead and take him for all she cared. He should be the one to be mad. So why was she not happy that he took the first step to fix things?

Unless Zelda had meant what she said? The thought hit Link like a Bowser Bomb. Zelda was not the type to flirt around, and all of a sudden even Master Hand was being treated better than he was. Had he dropped that low? It was just too much. He needed her back. Now.

Donkey Kong, who had been about to get himself a banana for a snack, was fed up with the commotion going on on top of his back. A princess tripping around, a Hylian having a therapy session with himself and a plumber that always had to be on top of things. The first two he could forgive, but the nerve of Mario to go as far as to sit on the great Donkey Kong.

With a roar the primate jumped up and Link landed flat on his belly. He groaned and rolled over when Peach plumped down on top of him with a shriek.

"Ooww," Link growled and heaved himself up to sitting position so that he could glare at Peach with bared teeth. The princess remained on top of his legs and crossed her arms.

"I guess that it's in order for me to thank you for softening my fall," she said without looking at him.

"Go ahead."

Peach gasped. "A little bit of humility would not hurt."

"That's my line. Were you not about to apologize for almost breaking my ribs?"

Donkey Kong had gone straight for an attack on Mario while Link and Peach were bickering. No one else but this serious rival was worth delaying his banana time for. Zelda, already on her way up the stairs, wanted nothing more than to lock herself up in her room – but it felt more important to help Mario. Mario had to be as tired as she was. Still he was countering the rain of giant fists from Donkey Kong without any complaint. She could tell that he was not very much into it, because the plumber was flinging more fireballs and keeping more distance than he usually did in a fight.

The Hylian Princess teleported into the middle of the fray – it was easier than trying to penetrate the wall of attacks from the side – and engulfed herself in a protecting blue crystal. Her shield shattered immediately as, just as she had predicted, the fighters did not react in time when she popped up out of nowhere and they hit it. The pieces of broken crystal were enough of a shock to stop them from further fighting, though, and that was the point.

"See what I've got here," Zelda said and pulled out a banana from behind her back. Donkey Kong stomped up to her, not liking being spoken to as if he were a pet. "It's a peace offering," Zelda added and smiled.

"Yes-a," Mario agreed and nodded vigorously, lowering his fists. Donkey Kong looked from the princess to the plumber and back again before he grinned widely and hogged the banana with a sweep of his arm, which could have sent Zelda flying unless she had let go of the fruit in time. Hence they were rid of Donkey Kong and the pair simultaneously drew a sigh and fell towards each other.

"You could have explained things to him. It could have spared you some trouble," Zelda said, smile, although tired, still in place.

"Trust-a me, after a bazillion tries-a to reason with people like Bowser or Donkey Kong, you find that it's-a easier to get-a the fight over with."

"I... I would not mind helping if you sometimes feel the need of some assistance. If you'd let me," Zelda said. Her hand found its way to her chest and she could feel her own heart thumping underneath her palm. Had that really slipped out of her?

"What a beautiful sight," Master Hand interrupted the scene, with a voice loud enough to grab every present Smasher's attention, and startled Mario and Zelda. "To think that you four have all opened up your hearts to love like this."

Peach and Link were still arguing, with Peach still on top of Link, and neither heard a thing. Master Hand's words had Zelda's gaze move over the two of them. Her expression was difficult to decipher, but her seemingly neutral stare was long and hard.

"It was probably harder to land on you than on the floor!" Peach yelled while flinging her arms around.

"Wha? Well, you... you... you're soft b-but..." Link yelled back. He sincerely wanted to return the insult, but insults did not hurt as much if they were not true (or if the target could not believe them to be true) and he had never been the best liar, or persuader. That did not exclude that he could get better though. Just as he was busy formulating a grand insult that would send the royal walking cake woman far away from him in the humiliating silence that was speechlessness, Link felt a chill go down his spine.

"Did Popo and Nana open all of the windows again?" Link thought out loud, but deep inside he knew that was not the case. Something cold was approaching and he looked to his left. Zelda stood there and she was smiling, a radiant smile that one would think would bring the warmth of summer into winter. But he froze. Her gaze, what that lovely smile expressed, was cold. Sheer cold.

Mario could feel the beads of sweat forming on his forehead as he adjusted his cap. The shelter of his arms gave him an opportunity to steal a glance at Master Hand, and Zelda walking up to Link had unfortunately not passed the flying nightmare by.

"Z-Zellie," Mario said, urgent to make Zelda realize the situation.

Link watched in wonder as the cold aura around Zelda dispersed. All he could actually do was feel the warmth of the room return and allow him to breathe, but there was also the look on Zelda's face. Anyone else would say that she looked the same as usual but to Link something was different. Was her smile a little less strained? Her eyebrows slightly lifted from their otherwise stern line? Or was there something in the depths of her eyes that had softened?

"You don't even like nicknames like that." The words jumped out of Link's mouth. It was heartbreaking, or at least it caused a crushing feeling inside his chest, that Mario would bring about such a harmonious expression on Zelda – with a nickname she had told Link himself not to use.

"_Zellie_?" Peach said, like a teacher in disbelief repeating a student answering wrong what one plus one equals. Her Mario, cuddlier than a favorite teddy bear, ensnared by that long-eared seductress?

"Uhm-a," Mario fumbled with his hat again, peering at Master Hand from under the brim. So perhaps that had been a bit too close to Peachie's nickname, but how could that be fixed without angering neither Master Hand nor Peach? Either way he would lose the woman he would go through space for.

Looking at Peach – no wonder he always came rushing to her rescue – she looked angrier than Mario had ever seen her. He should be alarmed but instead his worries flew away. This was Peach, whom he had known since they were babies, and he could not imagine there being any hard feeling between them. His gaze locked with hers and he felt that this understanding, this bond, was being transmitted to her. That was until she pulled out her frying pan.

"Mister Mario, you'll explain this to me _now," _Peach growled, tapping the frying pan against her palm, and it was doubtful whether Samus could come across as more threatening. Mario felt his faith in love wither away to the dark forgotten place where his hope to reason with Bowser had ended up years ago. Even his famous 'stache pointed downwards depressively.

Although Peach had not caught on, Zelda had got Mario's signal and hurried to the plumber's side just as Master Hand, reeking of suspicion, approached them. The Hylian princess threw her arms around Mario's neck from behind and tried to imitate Peach's loving ways, a loud clank ringing when Peach's frying pan hit the floor.

Peach had at last understood what was going on, but she was not completely fine with what Zelda was doing just because of that. She would have stepped in had she not been shocked speechless by her friend's behavior. _She _wanted to hug Mario more than anything. _She _was supposed to press her cheek to his. _She _was supposed to whisper endearing things that brought a smile to his face. It felt as if Bowser's claws were digging into her heart.

"Oh, what is it my, eh, my..." Zelda grew tense as words already escaped her. While ridiculous nicknaming had been a part of her daily routine with Link (and she had overheard some of Peach and Mario's as well) she was embarrassingly bad at it. A name was a name. Period. Nicknames could be practical if a name was long and complicated but one could not say any of their names were. Would her act as a loving girlfriend come to a quick and pathetic end?

Link felt as if the bones inside his fingers were breaking when his fingertips tried to curl closer to his palms that were pressed down on the floor. He got himself up on his feet and forced his legs to move towards Zelda and Mario.

"My," Zelda tried again, giggling anxiously when seeing Master Hand hovering silently in front of them. "My... hero," Zelda said meekly and her loving mask faltered. She remembered the fuzzy feeling of happiness when she had found a nickname that Link had seemed pleased with. A shudder shot through her as the memory of his arms pulling her closer enwrapped her mind and a vision of his reassuring grin flickered before her eyes. _My hero _was reserved for Link. But she had been unable to think of anything else. She was just not good at this.

"Is there... anything I can do for you?" Zelda said, amazed that she had been able to finish what she had begun to ask.

Mario was too busy trying to gesture excuses to Peach, whose rosy cheeks had turned peony red. The couple had never won a round of charades though, so Mario could not get why he was even trying. Anything for Peach?

Hands gripped Zelda's upper arms and yanked her away. Her back fell against a man's chest, one that she recognized and with a gasp she could no longer breathe.

"Zelda," she heard Link's voice utter her name, soft and low to keep the emotions under control. She could hear them though, and it was as if all the feelings she herself had suppressed resonated within her and threatened to rebel.

Peach took the opportunity to bend down and wrap her arms tightly around Mario. A hug attack would surely do the trick, even though she was still a little angry. Being mad at him was one thing, losing him another. She was not a woman who would let her priorities be clouded by her mood. She felt the heat from her blushing cheeks blend with his body temperature and cool down.

"Just what is going on here?" Master Hand roared and the four people burst away from one another. Master Hand might not have eyes but still everyone shuddered as if they were being scrutinized with x-ray vision when he floated back and forth in front of them.

Peach pressed her palms to her cheeks. Now she had really done it. Because she had so little self-control Mario would be taken away from her. With tears burning in her eyes she turned to look at him, and that was when she spotted Link rising tall behind Mario. That was right. It was not only her fault. If Link had just stayed away from Zelda this would not be happening.

"It appears that I've been had by one couple," Master Hand said while Peach was glaring daggers at Link. "Led astray. Played for a fool. Made fun of. Someone's been laughing at my expense." Master Hand inhaled and continued with a voice louder than that of Mr. Resetti, "I'M COMING APART AT THE SEAMS HERE!"

People leaned to the side to see if the white glove that faded into nothingness really had a few loose threads, but neither that nor the smallest hole was to be found.

"Zelda! Mario! I am very disappointed in you. More than disappointed. Mewtwo and Bowser are giving off more of a romantic air than you two," Master Hand raged on. Peach took a breath of relief before it struck her that the other couple being questioned was equally bad for her future with Mario. That aside, this turn of events was unexpected, and wherever she looked there were confused faces staring back.

Master Hand-a," Mario began but fell silent when a fingertip that could push his head off its neck was pointed at him.

"You're speaking to the woman in your life – the goddess that lights up your pathetic mayfly excuse of a life – using a nickname she does not like, as Link helpfully pointed out," Master Hand said.

Link tugged at his collar, feeling Peach's gaze drilling accusingly into him again.

"With shifty eyes and fumbling words," Master Hand went on, "which Peach took notice off instantly. Why else would she repeat that poorly pronounced nickname with such doubt? No, Mario, you're not pulling the leg of this hand with your poor acting."

"But," Zelda cut in.

"And do not think I've forgotten about _you_, Princess Zelda," Master Hand shouted and with a swoosh his giant index finger was millimeters away from Zelda's face instead of Mario's. "You're the biggest failure here. You act like the good girl and play along but then you do nothing more productive than counting the hours. The one thing I've seen you do is that hug right now and with your shuddering and stuttering one could think you're embracing the deformed fish hunting the waters beneath Icicle Mountain. There's not a shred of care for Mario in you!"

It felt as if Peach's eyes would pop out of their sockets as hard as she was glaring at Link. Before he had at least looked worried about Master Hand seeing through them. Now he looked like a child at Christmas.

Crestfallen, Peach turned to look at Zelda. Even under these confusing circumstances, even if she did not know what or whom to believe in, she turned to the friend – or was that ex-friend – she had got used to asking for help. When she saw the corners of Zelda's mouth struggle to form a grin, Peach trembled with anxiety. As soon as the smile was in place though, Zelda giggled pleasantly and looked up at Master Hand with a look more angelic than Pit would pull off.

"You're horribly mistaken. I like Mario very much," she said.

Link looked as if the Grinch had just stolen Christmas.

"Prove it," Master Hand demanded, poking Zelda so that she stumbled closer to Mario. "Or else I will forbid all kinds of romantic interaction in this house. This is your one chance. Kiss! Right here, right now."

* * *

(A/N)

At last, at last, at last. I cannot believe that it can be this difficult to write ca 4000 words. I have noticed that it is way too easy for me to switch the focus to Link and Zelda and then I have to even things out with Mario and Peach to make it fair (because the story is about all four of them). It might be because, unlike with Mario and Peach, I know exactly what is going to happen with Link and Zelda. Although, isn't that because I think more about them to begin with? No, there have got to be some limit to my Legend of Zelda bias (a very weak one far off somewhere, but at least some limit).

Lots of thanks to every reader. You're making this worthwhile after all. Special thanks to all reviewers. I am so happy that someone likes my lame references to all and everything between heaven and earth (Donald Duck included). I promise to keep working on my English. I am glad that this story can make a reader pleasantly surprised rather than the opposite. Thanks for appreciating the simple characterization (as I care a lot about that). And I love when Link (and Peach) get jealous too (which I must have made blatantly obvious with this chapter). I've never tasted a Blizzard but I am happy for all references to food ;)


	5. Love Is a Battle

******Turned Tables**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**-o-**

**Love Is a Battle**

* * *

"Kiss!" Master Hand roared, bouncing up and down like a lunatic. Zelda smoothened her dress and let the hand's angry outburst, along with his bouncing, fade away into a confused silence before she acknowledged his existence at all. With one hand on her hip she used the other to make a circular movement by an elegant twist of her wrist.

"Sure."

That word dug into Link like a knife that twisted itself around and carved out every ounce of pain possible to get out of the bleeding wound it cut open. Sure? _Sure_? Flipping _SURE_? No way in Subspace would another man lay a lip on his princess. This was taking it too far. _By far! _Her precious kisses – their softness, lingering like a whisper after the bittersweet sound of parting lips – were his and his only. His hand was reaching for the Master Sword instinctively.

This had been allowed to go on for much too long. Why in Nayru's name would Zelda go and say that she liked Mario of all stinking plumbers? Call him her hero (that was rubbing a bucket of salt into his knife wound), and even going as far as to kiss him? Link's hand stopped just as it was about to brush the hilt of his sword. He had to be rational.

Better keep it cool. It was just that... If those sausage fingers touched her. If that greasy bush of a mustache and fat lips were allowed to get anywhere near her. Right, this was not the time and place to get distracted. All the same... Another man soiling his woman? While he stood idly by no less? He would give away the Triforce, wrapped in a big pink ribbon with yellow dots on, to Ganondorf before that happened. Football Saturdays with Mario were hereby canceled for all eternity.

This time he had gripped the hilt. Rational, rational, Link repeated in his mind and let go. There was still Master Hand. If he attacked Mario that flying detached detestable limb would not let him get within a five meter radius of Zelda. Now that he thought about it, this had to be a part of the act. Zelda was not the two-timing type and it was more believable that she had some kind of secret motive. If he rushed into things he could end up ruining her plan to get them back together.

"Well, well, aren't we being cute today, Princess," Link mumbled to himself, a smirk spreading on his lips. "You do miss me after all."

But what if the plan was to go trough with the kiss? What if Zelda did not think that it was that big of a deal? Link whirled around. It was only a matter of time before this situation turned into a hair-pulling frustration. There had to be another way than to kiss. Anything would be better. He had to help his lady out of this peril.

Pretty much the same problem was keeping Peach busy – how could the kiss be avoided? She was too absorbed by her own thoughts to hear anything and, much like Link, she had her back to the scene.

Oh, the pieces were falling into place at last. Peach could not believe that she for one second had trusted Zelda. That Hylian wench had been all too willing to trade boyfriends, and it had not taken long with Link for Peach to understand why. Now, under the presumption that they were trying to fool Master Hand, she had fallen into Zelda's trap. One little order – kiss – had barely been spoken before Zelda came with her syrupy "_suuure_" and threw herself at Mario.

Mario gulped, very happy that Peach's frying pan was still lying on the floor. Her fingers twitched like the legs of a spider with death spasms. Her body was more rigid than an ice sculpture of a stick. It was probably a good thing that he could not see her face. She looked angry enough from behind. Problem number two: princess number two, a.k.a. Zelda.

The Hylian was approaching him with determined steps. She was doing that female (or sissy if one preferred) walking thing that he did not know what to call. That twisting and turning with legs, arms, upper body, hips and parts one did usually not know existed. Her hands glided over his shoulders and her arms followed when she bent down. Her face was on the same level as his and, once she had made sure that she had his full attention, she winked. The twenty or so excuses that had been fighting to get out of his mouth died in a millisecond.

Zelda leaned in.

"_And,_" Master Hand interjected, just as Zelda's lips were about to connect with Mario's round cheek, "it has to be a good smack on the lips, last for at least thirty-five seconds – no less – and hands can't stay in the same place for more than five seconds. And I want to see some tongue!"

Mario saw Zelda's confidence being sucked out of her gaze. Inside of him there was a sinking feeling. She knew no way out. There was no way out.

"Master Hand," Zelda said, or more like pronounced the name as if she was reading it out loud. She straightened up and tried a few smiles before she turned around.

"What? There's a problem?" Master Hand said, sounding as if he would very much enjoy if there were. That way he could yell at her.

Zelda put her cheek in her palm. A blush, burning red, was springing forth on her face and it was with downcast eyes that she spoke.

"It's not that I don't want to, I just... I'm really shy. I know that I have not been able to show how much Mario really means to me, and, believe me, that pains me. You were right. I am a complete and total failure. What you must understand, Master Hand, is that if I could not even do that, then how can I bring myself to do this? Not in front of so many people."

Master Hand felt the google-eyed stares of the Smashers press harder and harder on him as if they were substantial, like pillows close to smothering him. He could not accuse the Hylian princess of lying. Even when Link and Zelda had been at their worst there had not been lots of public make out sessions.

"What am I supposed to do about that? Master Hand snapped, cringing. "Fine, twenty seconds and you do not have to move your hands around. Satisfied? I hope you realize that this is more than you can actually ask for."

"You are most kind," Zelda assured him. "It's just that... Well, I would not want to cause you any more trouble. Especially not when you have already bended the rules for my sake."

"That's right."

"It's just that it is our first kiss," Zelda said with glassy eyes. She was the perfect image of a girl who had grown up idolizing Disney princesses and dreamt of a true love's kiss since before she knew what a kiss was.

"So?"

"I want it to be special."

"Okay?"

"And you want there to be lots of _tongue,_" Zelda said in a thick voice that broke on the last word.

"What about it?"

"Our first kiss," Zelda sobbed into her hands.

Master Hand was wiggling from side to side with no reply and Mario saw his chance to step in and assist Zelda, after making sure that Peach was not looking. He grabbed Zelda's hand, grabbing her attention at the same time, and looked as deeply into her eyes as he could. He might even have risen on his toes.

"I-a want it-a to be special too. A _dolcissimo bacio. _Only the sweetest-a kiss will do." He gave it his all with the Italian body language. Italian was spoken with one's hands. Romantic mode was the same as Italian mode.

"Oh, Mario," Zelda said with her best impression of Peach.

"Fine, skip the tongue and skip the Italian while you're at it," Master Hand said. He would not admit that it gave him what a being with a head would refer to as a "headache" to have to sort out Italian along with the situation. Why could these people never accept an order and simply follow it? They were still not getting it on. Instead, Zelda and Mario were both staring at the hand with huge Pichu eyes.

"What now?" Master Hand growled.

"Master Hand, what is love to you?" Zelda said.

Master Hand made a sighing sound, rising and falling with it.

"You-uhm get sort of nervous around someone. You-eh want to be with that person. You feel all waaarm and fuzzy on the inside aaand you want to kiss."

A kindergartener could not have said it better.

Zelda walked up to him and put her hands on two of his fingers.

"Yes. _Yes_, that is so true, Master Hand," she said while Mario nodded in the background. "Love is the reason why you brought Mario and me together, isn't it? That nervous sensation that comes with the smallest touch, the searching gazes; that was what you wanted us to experience, right? It is a beautiful progress, like a flower opening up to the sun, but is it not the shy shaping of a bud, and the blooming process itself that creates this beauty?"

"I-I guess."

"You know it is. This is the tale of love played out before you who are the greatest critic and audience. You watch it happen, from the first stuttering lines to the curtain closing."

"And?"

"Then does it not go against your very own philosophy to force our lips to touch before we've felt the warmth of each other's hands? Before cheek has touched cheek and before eyes dare to meet?" Zelda pulled out a lace handkerchief, the very motion expressing overwhelming sadness, and dabbed her eyes. "I think I could..." A sob broke the sentence. "I think I could force myself to a kiss on the cheek. I can say farewell to all these beautiful steps that make up the staircase of love. I'll do it for you, Master Hand, as this seems so important to you."

"That is-a noble of you, Master Hand," Mario said. "To side-a with love."

Master Hand was speechless. Somehow his hot make-out had turned into a lame peck on the cheek. How? When? What?

"Enough!" the hand yelled. "Fine, a kiss on the cheek but if I hear another word from you you'll regret it."

Zelda turned to Mario while trying to keep her facial expression in check. The look in her eyes was enough for one to say that she was glowing with happiness. It was their victory.

That was when Link and Peach spun around, neither having heard a word and neither having paid any attention to each other. Each raised one arm and together they cried, "WE'LL DO IT!"

The silence was deafening. The only thing that moved was Mewtwo levitating towards the kitchen for a glass of milk.

"You'll kiss?" Master hand said.

"Yeah, Mario and Zelda are not made for the spotlight."

"We want to prove out love."

"You'll kiss on the mouth?" Master Hand said with the same questioning tone.

"Anything you want," Link said and made a sweeping motion with his hand. Peach was applying a new layer of shimmering (04 Dewy Peach) lipgloss and pouted at her compact mirror before giving Master Hand an affirmative smile.

"Go for it," Master Hand said without a second thought. So long as he got his hot romantic moment he was satisfied. Who cared about the performers? Peach and Link did not waste any time to throw their arms around each other. Were they even slightly aware of what they were doing? Hardly. They were already living in a sparkly future where Mario and Zelda had nothing to do with each other. As for the present, they could just as well have been entangled with Wario – enough said.

Mario was standing with his mouth hanging open, completely taken over by shock. Peach's silky white gloves snaked themselves around Link's neck. Her body was half gliding half falling towards him and she angled her head to the side with eyes gently closed. Mario was numb, but his gloved hands were engulfed by his fireballs. It was comparable to how one pulls one's hand away when burnt before registering the pain.

"No kiss will be necessary," Zelda cut in just as Link and Peach's lips were about to connect.

Everyone, including Link and Peach, turned to look at the princess. Was she missing something? Master Hand wanted a kiss or they could kiss their loved ones goodbye. There were no options. Nonetheless, Zelda was standing there with her arms crossed, showcasing the same serenity and grace as a Greek statue. She raised her gaze, which complimented her calm smile, to Link and Peach who immediately clung to each other as if their lives depended on it. Those eyes would have made Norfair freeze over.

"What?" Master Hand hissed, turning towards Zelda. She did not so much as flinch. "What did I say? Not one word from you."

"I heard you, Master Hand, and I understood perfectly," Zelda said in a tone that made Master Hand sink down below her eye-level in submission. "Tell me this, how did you make us agree to this ridiculous play in the first place?"

"Uh..."

"You blackmailed us, that's what you did. You used our feelings for our respective loved ones to make us act out a relationship with someone else. Can I even begin to explain the complete and utter incompetence of this reasoning? It is completely based on us staying in love with out original partners, or else we would not put up with any of this."

"Nowwaitaminute. I-if you really fell in love–"

"This ends here. You see, regardless of what you decide to do, I will _never _get back together with _him._" Zelda pointed with her whole arm at Link grasping on to Peach. "You have nothing on us anymore."

With that Zelda turned around to make her exit. Link tore himself away from Peach, as if he was ripping off a band-aid, and ran after her. He stumbled on the last few steps when he reached out to grab her shoulder but got a hold of her. It helped him to stay on his feet and he held her back with full force – at least the full force of his left hand.

"Wait, what've I done?" he said. Everything he had been doing since the very beginning had been for her sake. Sure, she had been a little mad for some unknown reason, but that had been an act. She had been going out of her way to get them back together. This was a backlash. There was no way he would let her walk out that door without giving him an explanation.

Zelda turned around, and Link was nailed to the spot. His first instinctual thought had been to run for his life. Zelda was not smiling. She was baring her teeth and looking at him as if she wanted to smash his head in with the Megaton Hammer. This rage went beyond her whipped in habit to keep up appearances. He already felt like a dead man. No, that would be far better than this.

"_What. You. Have. Done?" _she said as if those four words together added up a level of stupidity beyond that of Master Hand's.

"Yeah," he said, forcing himself not to stutter or fall backwards when she took a step closer. "You're joking, right? Now Master Hand will leave us alone. That's what you were after."

"Let me take it from the very beginning," she said, voice treacherously smooth but poisonous all the same. Then the anger exploded. "The second we agree to make the switch you skip happily over to Peach. You just let her throw herself at you, and you dare to use _me _as an excuse to stand there hugging her back in the middle of the living room? Convincing act or not, you just stand there and let her press herself up against you? Have you no shame? Instead of making up with me you take her out on a date, which I later find out is to _The Triumph Fork! _You talk about _proposing _that you've been crawling your way out of like an eel for I do not know how long. Then you have the nerve the show up and pester me and Mario – after I find you playing in the mud with Peach. Are you a child? Back here she sits _on top of you_. You _let _her – while blushing like a _fool_. Then you're about to shove your tongue down her throat? Right in front of me? You jerk! That I will – I can – _never _forgive. That's the last straw! You obviously do not care an ounce about our relationship if you put more effort into a fake one. I have no intention of staying with such a hypocrite!"

Link could only gape at her, trying to figure out in what parallel dimension Zelda had spent the day to throw its happenings around like that. She was already on her way up the staircase when he found his voice.

"You did not say that you do not love me."

Her hand was resting on the stair railing. Her body language expressed cold when she faced him but she had got most of the bottled up anger out of her and her expression had softened.

"I am not in a position where I can afford to rely only on love," she said. "I must be able to trust you, or else how can I believe that you even want to be with me? If there is one thing I cannot stand it is someone who leisurely gives away his attentions. That is... " She raised her chin as if she was trying to prevent tears from welling up, but that would be unlike her. Her voice was nothing but a whisper. "Disrespectful."

"Dis? Aren't you making too big of a deal out of this? You haven't even given me a chance to explain."

Zelda swallowed, collecting herself.

"We're through," she yelled, turning and marching up the stairs without waiting for his reply.

"Zelda, you're not walking out on me for such a stupid reason," Link yelled back and took the stairs two steps at a time. He would have made it up to her had her door not been the first one on the left on top of the stairs and she slammed the door in his face. It effectively cut him off from calling her name again.

For a second he just stood there. Then he raised a shaking arm as if would start to bang and beat on the door until it broke down, but he only hit the white wooden surface once with a hard fist, groaning, "open up," through his teeth.

The Smashers' eyes were glued to Link's back. He was still fully visible from the living room on the floor below. The only thing moving was Mewtwo passing through with a glass of milk hovering in front of him.

Peach snuck a peek at Mario. Now what?

* * *

(A/N)

Zelda and Link have really hit rock bottom (tries and fails to avoid thrown rocks). H-hold it! Feel free to tell me how you would like them to react, because if I know myself right this will turn into one stubborn angry fight.

Let's look back at the happier times, when there were a few reviewers who seemed to sort of like this story (inches away from zelinkers):

There exist people who actually like my similes? Thank you! They are what I would refer to as parodies-done-to-conceal-how-lame-my-actual-tries-at-similes-are. I write something and then I have to make fun of it (like Christmas and then the Grinch). I was kind of happy about the Icicle Mountain fish though. It does not require that much work. The mere thought of that thing gets me into fits of giggles every time. Just putting it in a sentence is enough.

I hope that you all got enough reaction out of the characters in this chapter (even if it might not have been what you had in mind).

Every little word I get in a review counts. Can I say that I was really flattered that I got a positive response on chapter one that seemed to increase towards chapter four? (Ganondorf: "No, get off your high horses.")

Someone really caught on to the comparison/contrast I am trying to describe in this story between the characters. Wow, I am succeeding at something (Ganondorf: "That's a first."). It is also funny that someone would say that the characters are in-character. That _is_ a first, actually. I try to stick with my interpretations of the characters (for Peach I always have the quote, "no, no, I'm delicate!" in mind - which she says while being right in the middle of sneaking away from Bowser). Although sometimes my interpretations... differ from the norm somewhat. Oh, fine, sometimes I take too many liberties. Sometimes I put my story before the true nature of the characters.

And I have a fan? Turn, twist, fidget, blush, giggle. Teehee. Who has actually read two of my stories? (drifting into rainbow land). Thank you~ You're too kind (Ganondorf: "Geez, it is already going to her head!").

Well, thank you very much for reading and lots of thanks to everyone who reviewed.


	6. Adding Fuel to the Fire

******Turned Tables**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**-o-**

**Adding Fuel to the Fire**

* * *

"I bet he's in denial."

"You think? Just look at the way he is tapping that remote against his knee. I'd say anger."

"No, he's definitely in denial."

Link was sitting in one corner of the couch, leaning an elbow on the armrest and glaring at nothing in particular. The rest of the Smashers had decided that it would be best to leave him alone, although that did not stop them from speculating about which of the four stages of grief he was currently going through.

Peach smoothened her dress in a very angry manner when she sat down at one of the small round tables in the room. Her very obvious angry hint did not seem to affect Link at all. It was just like him to take the whole couch for himself. Right now when she needed to patch things up with Mario too. She had wanted them to sit next to each other. Once everything was solved – it would be solved – she would shift a little and end up closer to him. She would move just close enough for their hands to touch. She would do it with downcast eyes and then she would confirm with one loving glance that it had been intentional. Now what? She pouted at Mario sitting on the opposite side of the table. She could just imagine that awkward bumping sound when one grabs the seat of a chair and jump to get it where one wants it.

"So-a," Mario said and cringed. Peach had not so much as looked at him when they sat down, and she had smoothened her dress in a very angry manner. The next thing he knew he was under attack by her pouty face. Fortunately, she got rid of it as soon as he started talking. "Were-a you and Link really gonna..."

Peach gave him a blank stare.

"Kiss," Mario said begrudgingly.

"What? Kiss him? No! I'd never kiss him."

Peach slapped her hands over her mouth when she realized just how impolite that had been of her to say, no matter what she thought of Link. She giggled it away as not being anything worth taking seriously. In any case, Mario looked a lot more relaxed.

"I would never kiss him because there's only one man I want to kiss," Peach said, drawing circles on the table surface with her index finger. If there was one thing this whole experience had taught her it was that she already had the perfect guy. No one was perfect but what she had seen as shortcomings had never been shortcomings. She could nuzzle up close to him when they watched a movie and she would feel his chin gently on her head when he leaned on her. She wanted her Mario more than any male Fire Emblem model. Mario would always look the best to her. When slow dancing with him she could hardly wait until the song was over to throw her arms around him fully and completely. Due to their heights, hugging would make the dancing part slightly more difficult but it served as a great incentive for the rest of the dance. It was like falling in love all over again.

"Who might-a that man be, _c__ucciola mia_?" Mario said, leaning over the table and clearly catching on to her romantic insinuations. She recognized that broad closed smile, half-closed eyes and those Italian phrases. Well, there was just one thing that needed to be cleared up before they got to that part.

"Oh, I don't know," she said, trying to look as if she really could not come up with anyone special. "It depends... Why did you buy Zelda presents?"

Mario's hand slipped away from under his chin and his head hit the table. "Why-aow?"

"Were you really going to kiss her?"

"The-the, ah, presents were-a only so-a that I-a wouldn't have to do stuff-a like kissing. I-a never..."

Peach put a finger over his lips. "That's good enough for me. I thought it was something like that." Her eyes began to close while her finger ran down and away from his face. She got up from the chair to lean all the way over the table. One foot lifted off the floor when she needed to close the last few centimeters between their mouths. She pouted, felt that soft pressure, and stayed like that.

"Knock it off!" somebody growled. Judging by the stomping steps and the deep raspy voice it could only be Peach's good old trusty kidnapper Bowser. Things had to be back to normal when Bowser was complaining at them. Peach started giggling so much that she could not hold the kiss any longer. She jumped up with both feet off the floor and placed one last kiss right on Mario's nose with a loud "mwah!"

* * *

Link shook his head. Someone, please, spare him. The harder he tried to ignore the other couple the more aware of them he seemed to become. The more aware he became the worse he felt. He could start off by saying that his stomach hurt and he would not be able to stop describing this pain until the end of the chapter. Long story short, he felt like curling up, pulling a blanket over his head and if tears came that would be all right.

This was neither right nor fair. Zelda could not leave him because of whatever it was. He had to become a rock. A mountain. Zelda was stubborn and he would have to take rejection upon rejection upon rejection – ugh, his stomachache was making itself reminded – but he would win her over. She loved him and that _was_ enough. He'd show her.

Link's pointy ears twitched when he heard Zelda's door unlock. It had to be her. Sure enough, he could make out the sound of her footsteps – light, slow, rhythmic – when she came down the stairs. The couch stood pretty nearby and she must have spotted him and his green hat immediately. When he got his arms up on the backrest and his knees on the seats she was already taking a detour around the room. With one leap he was over the armrest and heading for her. Without having given him a single glance she quickened her steps towards the kitchen. He gave it one final sprint and his hand slammed into the wall millimeters in front of her.

"Hi," he said, looming over her while being completely unaware that he gave off an impression of a gangster cornering a victim in a dark alley. Zelda wrinkled her nose at his arm blocking her path and then at his face. Okay, he had to realize that he was already doing something wrong.

"What?" she snapped with a look that said she would burn him to a crisp if he bothered her. With her magical powers in regard it was safe to say that one should take such a look seriously.

Deep breath now. He knew how to handle Zelda. He would _talk_. Because Zelda loved _to talk. _It could roughly be translated to: "make a guy feel absolutely worthless and castrated" and was something very unpleasant. Zelda could keep at it for weeks when she felt like it, until she with an exasperated sigh said, "fine, let's forget about it," and he happily did so. This was what he would go through to get on her good side again.

"I want to talk," he told her in a voice that said, "I love you," more than the actual words he was speaking.

She observed his face closely with one arched eyebrow and one corner of her mouth quirked with doubt. Either that or wry amusement. He could not tell, and he did not dare to move a muscle in case she would walk away.

"Fine," she said and shrugged. Phase one had run surprisingly smoothly and for a second Link could relax when he walked her over to the couch. Now he just needed to play his cards right.

He waited for her to sit down and gave her some space. It could not harm to act gentlemanly.

"About this... thing," he began in his most humble voice. "I never wanted to make you upset in the first place."

"You were not in any hurry to make me think differently."

"I didn't even realize it bugged you. I just tried to keep the act up like you asked me to."

"Link, that was not how it started," Zelda said, shoulders slumping. "I admit I got angry and said some stupid things. It's just that any kind of physical contact has always been a big deal to me."

"Tell me about it," he muttered under his breath but hid behind a grin when she eyed him with suspicion. "Go on, tell me all about it," he urged her.

"Touching is a delicate matter that measures the relationship between two people," Zelda elaborated. "Of course I was far from thrilled that you would allow Peach to hug you – tightly – when you are barely more than acquaintances. What does that say about you? But when I got angry you were the one to pull her to you and then you walked out on me. That's ten times worse."

"It wasn't really a real hug."

"It wasn't only about the hug, and there's still more. Even though you knew I was angry you took her to The Triumph Fork? While I'm left with McBallyhoo's? Is that what I am to you?"

"If it's about the restaurant I'll take you there," Link promised. If his lady did not feel appreciated she would get her five star dinner. Zelda should just have said so. Phew, thank Din it had not been anything more serious than that.

Zelda scratched her right temple. "It is not about the restaurant, Link."

Crap.

"It's about the signals you're sending. Do these things even matter to you?" She seemed to look for something in the depth of his eyes. "I mean, how am I to explain? How would you have felt if I had really been about to kiss Mario?"

It burnt. It was like a warped version of the legend of the phoenix being reborn from its own ashes. He was lit on fire and the pain was searing. The only option was to submit to the flames and in doing so he merged with their blind rage that destroyed everything in its path. The wild fire had to show on his face because Zelda's eyes flickered away.

"I'd never let that happen," Link said huskily, as if the air was too hot to breathe.

"Exactly," Zelda said, not able to back up the word with any confidence. "That's how I feel too, about you kissing someone else. So if I were merely going to kiss Mario on the cheek..."

Link did not look the least appeased, or show any sign that he was following where she was going with that sentence.

"You understand? Would you still give Peach a deep kiss?"

"Of course!" Link exclaimed. Zelda stared at him with her long ears drooping and her shoulders hanging, even more miserably than they had before – an impression strengthened by her golden pauldrons. This conversation was not going in the right direction, that much was clear. "That's what I'm trying to say," Link added, set on turning things around. "You shouldn't have to do stuff like that. Not as long as I'm here. I'd do anything for you."

For some reason she still looked disappointed. She exhaled, a short frustrated breath.

"For a peck on the cheek? You'd kiss Peach? Passionately?"

"It wouldn't mean anything," Link said, scrunching his eyebrows in confusion.

"That's the problem, isn't it?" Zelda said, and Link could hear the anger brewing in her tone. "It makes no difference to you. You've never told a girl off in your entire life. There's nothing you'd do to me that you would not do to a thousand other girls out there. I don't know if it's a spine or heart you're lacking but I'm fed up with it."

"Hold your horses. I've never encouraged any of those girls and I didn't say that I would enjoy kissing Peach." His voice grew softer. "I'd kiss you a hundred times to get rid of the taste. You're the woman I love. Of course it makes a difference." Without noticing it he had leaned in closer. He did notice when Zelda turned her head away.

"You're not getting anything," she huffed and crossed her arms. Link blinked twice at her.

"I'm not getting any loving or I'm not getting it as in not getting it?" he asked out loud without thinking. Zelda balled her hands into fists, uncrossed her legs and rose in less than a second.

"You're not getting it. As always. It is impossible to have a serious conversation with you."

With that she stormed off.

* * *

Zelda slammed a kettle down on the stove plate. They did have an electric tea kettle in the kitchen but there were a lot of these modern thingies she had not grown accustomed to yet. She was happy knowing how the stove worked. Mastering the electric tea kettle was definitely on her to-do list though. She made a mental note of it.

This practical thinking was doing wonders for her nerves. She should not let Link get to her, even if he seemed to possess a certain gift for that. He had taken the initiative to talk and she should have taken that into consideration before she flew off the handle.

The princess leaned her elbows on the oak counter and dug her fingers into her hair. She would have liked to talk to Peach about this, but when she had walked through the living room Peach had been looking out the window in a very angry manner. Moreover, it would not feel right to bother her and Mario now when they were finally reunited. It was up to her to sort out her feelings on her own.

It was a shame that there were not more women in the house. There was Jigglypuff, but unless one was fine with no better response than, "Jiggly-Jiggly-Puff," one did better to save the deep conversations for somebody else. Nana was a child and should not be burdened with troubles she could not yet comprehend. Last was Samus, who was kind – despite doing a good job of hiding it – and sensible but most of the time reasoned a like a man; a man of actions rather than words.

"Are you perchance making tea for two?"

Zelda tore her hands out of her hair and straightened up with a gasp, turning in the direction of the voice.

"Marth, you gave me fright," she said with a breath of relief when she saw who it was. "And it just so happens that I've ended up making a lot more tea than I'll be able to drink on my own. Care to join me?"

"It would be my delight," he replied with a bow of his head.

Second only to Peach, if one wanted emotional advice or to discuss private matters Prince Marth of Altea was the one to go to. Zelda scolded herself for not considering him earlier. Not counting Link and Peach, Marth was her closest friend in the house and by far the easiest one to hold a sane conversation with. Everything about him was refreshing. If one was really quiet, it was almost as if one could hear Vivaldi's Spring of The Four Seasons play in the background around him. Dahm-da-da-dah-dada-daah. Although Marth would describe himself as more of a Winter.

"I've noticed you've ended up the victim of Master Hand's latest whim," Marth said. "Is he leaving you alone now?"

He had to be referring to the fact that he had found Princess "Shiny Facade" Zelda hanging over the kitchen counter in complete despair. That thought made her check her hair, but it felt okay.

"I do not think that Master Hand has any unresolved business with me," Zelda said.

With impeccable timing Master Hand came zooming past the kitchen entrance carrying pairs of blue and pink flippers, air tanks and diver's masks. Running away from him in terror were the Ice Climbers, screaming at the top of their lungs.

"Get your fluffy parkas over here. From now on you're Popo and Nana: The Scuba Divers!" Master Hand shouted after them.

Zelda shook her head. "Earl Grey?" she asked Marth and opened the cupboard. The prince nodded, forgetting that Zelda could not see him behind the cupboard door. He was staring at the spot where Master Hand and the Scu– Ice Climbers had run past. Zelda knew what kind of tea he wanted anyway and did not wait for any reply before she poured two cups and walked over to him.

"So, is everything worked out now? I was under the impression that you intended to spend the evening in your room. Did you receive an apology?" Marth said. He turned around and took both teacups out of Zelda's hands before she got a chance to protest. She gave him a look and he gave her one back.

"About that," she said, walking by his side into the living room. "I have not worked things out with Link yet. But I do not want to sit cooped up in my room because of him and I would not want to miss my evening tea. I live here too after all."

Marth nodded.

"Well, he did try to make up with me." Zelda fell silent as they approached the corner with the round tables. "Although I guess everyone in the house already knows the details," she added. She put a hand on the back of a white chair to pull it out, but before she could do so Marth had put down their cups and grabbed the chair to do it for her.

"Allow me. One can only learn so much from overhearing tidbits part of a greater context," Marth said, smiling at Zelda raising an eyebrow at him for his gentlemanly gestures (but she did say thanks). "Would you mind telling me the full story? Sometimes it's enough that somebody listens."

* * *

"And that's pretty much how it went down," Zelda finished, putting her cup down on its saucer with what appeared to be utmost calm but the loud clatter said otherwise.

"Zelda, don't you think you should forgive him?" Marth said.

"You're on his side?"

"No. No, no, no," Marth assured her. His eyes darted away to the side. His teacup rattled against its saucer. "It is just that being in a woman's disgrace is not... very pleasant. If you only knew what insufferable torture women can put men through. I do not even want to imagine what it would be like if Shiida gave me the cold shoulder." He was white as a sheet when he spoke. Zelda wondered if it was possible for Marth, in spite of his overbearing need to please, to have avoided making a single woman angry in his entire life. Regardless, he looked more willing to face a dragon.

"He has apologized and what options are you leaving open for him to be in your mercy once more? Have you not let him suffer enough?" Marth said. Now he was dipping his teabag more times than what was necessary. The flavor was already strong and the drink had taken on a thick amber color.

Zelda lowered her cup to reveal one of her killer smiles. No, not the good kind.

"One thing I will never understand," she said. "Why does a man cringe like a worm on a hook when faced with the tiniest hint of a problem in a relationship? When I try to hold a serious conversation I do not want empty excuses, even less I want declarations of love or flowers. I want to be heard and have a dialogue, and I'll tell you what: This is not the first time that Link has not listened to me. I am not out to get him or asking for impossible things of him but as long as he keeps resorting to 'forgive me, forgive me' and 'I love you so much' nothing will ever come to a conclusion and the bad feelings will not go away. They will increase. I am not being seen by the man who claims to love me. What I say and what I feel do not matter at all to him. I am just supposed to smile and pretend that everything is perfect. As if I am not doing that enough already! No, he will not get off that easily any longer. This is not about me needing to open my eyes and being understanding of the reasons behind his actions. This is about him listening to me for once. Just once. Until then I am not going to forgive him. If he blankly refuses to learn a lesson I will walk separate paths and _never_ look back."

"Aren't you being unreasonable?" Marth said and smiled uncertainly at her the way a parent would at a stubborn child. Then he glanced away from her again. "How is he supposed to show that he listens if not by an apology? More importantly, is it worth to sacrifice what you two have over this? And I am saying this for your sake."

"I will cry, without a doubt, but I cannot go on like this. I don't mind life being a stage but I don't want my closest relationship to be an act. Sadly, I have to realize that I would have an easier time making Pikachu repeat the alphabet than making Link listen."

"At least Pikachu will do good once you get to P."

Zelda dragged out on the sip of tea into one long slurp. A woman always had to have a giggle and a smile up her sleeve but right now she was not in the mood. Marth had such a dreadfully bad sense of humor too. He made it a challenge to fake half a smile. Pikachu could crack better jokes and for somebody whose oral communication limited itself to repeating parts of his own name that was quite astonishing.

Marth tugged at the golden-rimmed collar of his baby blue tunic.

"Would you, please, stop fidgeting?" Zelda said.

"I'm sorry, Zelda," Marth said – close to whined – but would not stay more still than if he had been sitting on needles. "It's just that Link has been glaring at me during this whole conversation."

That explained Marth's shifty eyes and distracted replies. Zelda's head made what could not be much less than a 180° turn. She quickly found Link sunken down in an armchair next to the oak sideboard on the opposite side of the room. He realized that it was too late to pretend that he had not been looking at them so he defiantly stared right back at her. It was so infuriating that she had to look away instantly.

Marth swallowed the last of his tea with one loud gulp. "Maybe it would be better for me to leave. It might look bad with the two of us alone like this."

"Marth, you're engaged," Zelda said.

Marth laughed, but it was not any more convincing than it was when he laughed at his own jokes. He was dipping his teabag in his empty cup and his face was even paler than before.

"I would assume such a trifle to matter little to him, if you don't mind me saying so. You would be surprised at the things a man will do for a woman." Marth's eyes widened the same way Peach's did when something slipped out that should not have. "Not that I... I mean, you are very attractive but... No, that's not... I mean..." He took a deep breath and started over. "It is only natural that Link should be on his guard. Especially now when you're..." He whisked his hand in circles, "on the market."

"I'm _what?_" Zelda's eyes blazed.

"Y-you're available to other men," Marth began but Zelda cut him off.

"I'm not on any market. I have no intention of jumping into a new relationship right after leaving Link. No, I am not available."

Marth gave her a sheepish smile. "Well, it is not really up to you to decide whether you're on the market or not."

"Oh?" If one stuck a finger out one could poke the sarcasm as if it had been a giant fat marshmallow.

"Zelda, I have a match in the morning and it is rather important that I avoid getting into an unnecessary fight. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before he comes over here." Marth threw a quick look over the Hylian's shoulder. The resemblance to a rabbit ready to run was uncanny.

"Go," Zelda said, staring down at the lukewarm tea at the bottom of her cup. Marth stayed – a tension of unspoken words was hanging in the air – but the Hylian princess did not lift her gaze to see what look was on his face. In the end, he soundlessly glided out of his seat, pushed in the chair, mumbled, "milady," and left with his empty cup. Zelda's fingers pressed against the light pink porcelain.

What a coward.

And Link. Did he believe that he could glare her friends away? She did not have the patience for this, but was this what it came down to? A no-win situation? This swap had cost her Link, Peach and Marth so far.

Would she have to give in as usual? Would she have to shut away her own emotions and only focus on making Link feel all right? Like a mother tended to a child? Once she had thought that relationships were about both giving and taking. Had her expectations not been shattered enough? Would rebelling be so wrong that she lost not only Link but all of her friends as well?

Or could she fight this? Could she fight the man she loved? Whose love she wanted?

* * *

(A/N)

This chapter has left me quite torn. I was supposed to wrap things up but then I could not resist throwing Marth in and all of a sudden I had run out of words. So, here I am sitting with a finished chapter and I have to realize that it would actually make more sense for me to erase it and start over. Where did the joy of writing disappear to? This story is not the most eventful one, and now my already lame peripety has lost its small impact making this even more set up for a disaster ending. Mario and Peach are already back together. Do I have to come up with some huge twist now and extend the story even more? (Or I can make Mario and Peach help Link out. It will be the heroes joining up for the final battle - Mario _is_ always the good fella and I do think that Peach would like to make up with Zelda).

Another thing about this chapter (sometimes it makes me giggle, sometimes it makes me cry): it is only about complaints and teacups (snickers). Nag, nag, nag, TEA, nag, nag, nag, TEA! I so do wonder what was on my mind when I wrote this.

So, the one thing that we do find out in this chapter is that Zelda is not a fan of a man bringing out the flowers when she is trying to have a serious talk. Now, what do you think Link is about to do? I actually started writing more from Link's P.O.V. but the chapter ended up being too long so I cut it out and saved it for the next one (hence why we ended up with the rather pompous causing-severe-eye-rolling ending paragraph of this chapter).

I was quite surprised at the reviews for the last chapter. I am speechless. They were so nice. I do not know if it affected the time it took for me to get this chapter out but I was so happy I could not wait to write more. The reactions to Zelda's anger were mixed, which I found to be quite nice and very interesting to read (most were a lot more sympathetic than I had expected). Maybe that was why I ended up focusing so much on Zelda this time. I hope that I did not try to justify her anger too much in my eager to delve deeper. I sympathize with Link's side of the story as well.

Thank you for all the nice things you wrote. There were so many sweet things written that I do not quite know where to start or even how to respond. I'm grateful.

Thank you for reading and many, many thanks to the reviewers. Each single review more than made my day.


	7. After Rain Comes Sunshine

******Turned Tables**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

**-o-**

**After Rain Comes Sunshine**

* * *

Link was anything but sad to see the prince go. He had never liked Marth. He was so very _refreshing. _When people talked about him they sounded as if they came straight out of a club soda commercial. In reality, Marth was nothing but a two-faced weakling, with a certain irritating knack for sucking up to the ladies, and he hung around Zelda way too much for it to be innocent.

When the cat's away, the mice will play. That's how it was. Link could not drop his guard in a house full of love hungry bachelors – and closet womanizers like Marth. The majority of these guys was not what one would call charming, or even remotely good-looking, but since when had that ever stopped a man from getting himself a woman? Right now Zelda was the cheddar, served on a silver platter with a sign that said, "please, take me."

"A rock," Link reminded himself. Even if Zelda had plunged one of her tiny fists straight through the heart she had denied existed there was no time to be lying flat on the floor of the boxing ring. There was but one answer: grovel, grovel and, last but not least, grovel.

"Oh, Mario, my sweet honey-pie."

Peach's voice disturbed Link's thoughts like a screeching violin and with the look any involuntary listener would have on its face he turned towards the source of the noise. For Farore's sake, could one not get some peace and quiet to think around here? Unexpectedly, something turned out to be partly shielding his view. His eyes fell on the droplet-shaped flower vase on the coffee table in front of Peach and Mario snuggling up close together on the couch. If it came down to it he would serenade Zelda with a lute – he already wore the tights – but he was far from that desperate yet. Flowers would make a decent start.

"Mario muffin."

"Peach cupcake."

The Hylian cleared his throat, which passed by painfully unnoticed as Mario and Peach shared a long sweet kiss. It felt downright awkward to interrupt them but those daisies he was after belonged to Peach. She was the one who voluntarily prettied up the house in spite of having her hard work ruined by the antics of the other inhabitants, mostly Bowser, more often than a a great fairy would put up with. On second thought though, it was only fair that she let him take them. The florist's shops were closed by now and Peach would not be any less miffed if he snuck out in the darkness to pick the flowers in the garden that she tended to with such care. Besides, both Peach and Mario owed him. They were half the reason why he was in this situation with Zelda.

Link already had the white flowers grabbed in a tight fist when Peach sensed that the feng shui of the room was being disturbed and pulled herself away from Mario, whose reaction was not very far off from a TV screen being plugged out.

"I'll make it up to you," Link said with his best smile when he was pierced by one of Peach's glares, which had during the course of this one day begun to feel as if they had always been a part of his life.

Peach put her hands on her hips. Master Hand rose above the backrest behind her and towered over them like an actual materialization of Peach's feelings. He was still holding on to the scuba sets. Actually, he was right in the middle of scanning the room for any sign of Popo and Nana but he had an ability for sniffing out when his presence was unwanted and he could not miss out on a chance to be an obnoxious boss.

"What do you need those flowers for?" Peach asked and Master Hand posed the same question in his most demanding voice. Mario sighed. Link had been about to leave but turned around with a smirk that would not even close to conceal about how annoyed he was about this little intermission.

"If you haven't noticed, Zelda's not very happy with me right now and I don't think I'm the only person to blame."

The tension following that statement was electric to say the least and Mario gulped. Peach was looking away while Link was looking straight at him. It made his hair stand on end, mustache included. Why him? Everything had been working out nicely. One second he had been trying to figure out if Peach had eaten raspberries earlier today and the next..._ this. _It was like being handed a big bowl of pasta and having someone pour cheap non-Italian pasta sauce all over it.

"Link, of course it's only your fault," Master Hand said.

"I-a think there's-a reason why Zelda doesn't-a smile very often," Mario joined in. Link should handle his own problems and not throw people under the bus with him.

"_What?_" Link said in a voice closer to Ganondorf's deep vocal pitch than his own. "Care to say that again?" He was about to add "backstabber" but clenched his teeth before it could slip out.

Peach's fingers closed around the sleeve of Mario's red sweater when she turned to him.

"Mario, honey, what are you saying? You wouldn't bother about Zelda like that when you told me there is nothing between you, would you?"

"I'm-a not interested in Zelda," Mario said with a lot of emphasis and Peach's anxious heartbeats were calmed. Link had a crooked smile filled with doubt on his face but he had also moved the flower bouquet back to occupy his left hand – his sword hand. "But I stand for what-a I said. Link should-a be able to make-a her smile more-a often." Link moved the flower bouquet back to his right hand.

"Well, then, how do I make her smile, _Doctor_ Mario? Since you apparently are such an expert," Link said.

Peach's gaze drifted off her grip around Mario's sleeve loosened. There was a sudden distraction in the background that made her thoughts wander and leave the men to their... conversation. She could make out Zelda holding an empty tea cup and heading for the kitchen. She looked devastatingly lonesome with that single cup in her hands and Peach felt a pang of guilt in her heart. She had been acting cold towards Zelda because she had been insecure about Mario's feelings, and Zelda's loyalty. There was still that kiss incident, but now that Mario had spent so much time assuring her and reassuring her she felt a lot more forgiving, and ashamed.

"Can Link really make her smile?" Peach said absentmindedly. It became strangely quiet and Peach's eyes grew in size when they locked with Link's glaring ones. Staying true to her old habit she clasped her hand over her mouth and then removed it with a giggle. "What if Zelda has her mind on someone else? Then there is nothing Link can do," Peach clarified and avoided looking at Mario.

"He'll just-a steal her back," Mario said and Link nodded. Both looked at her as if she was a mathematical problem that required a good deal of thinking. "Or give up-a."

"But I won't."

Peach sighed. She really had to say it out straight?

"What if Zelda has feelings for _you_, Mario?" Peach gave word to her innermost concerns and Mario immediately wished he had not opened his big mouth. Link's gaze was like acid.

"She doesn't-a," Mario squeaked. "_Prometto!_"

Peach measured him with her eyes. The seconds ticked by. She believed him, she knew that he would never lie to her, but deep down she was aware that this was a situation that did not depend on his word. To tell the truth, she was already quite sure she knew whom Zelda's heart belonged to, and it was not Mario, but she needed to hear it straight from the horse's mouth. Then there would not be a shadow of a doubt left in her. She smiled at Mario, so that he would not misunderstand what she was about to say, and she felt fluttering butterflies in her stomach when he returned it. Her hand instinctually found his.

"I think I need to talk to Zelda," Peach said.

"I already called dibs on that," Link cut in heatedly. "Weren't you and Mario right in the middle of something too? I'm leaving. I've wasted enough time here."

"Don't. Give Zelda some space and allow her to calm down. Trust me, that is what she needs right now."

"If I leave her alone now I will be hearing later that I am not there for her when she needs me the most. Besides, if that is what she needs, why would you go and see her? How stupid do you think I am?"

"Pardon me, weren't you the one who said that we were at fault? That makes us involved too."

Link inhaled but instead of talking back he lowered his head with a sigh and avoided Peach's determined eyes. "I don't really blame you," he mumbled before forcefully meeting her stare. "A lot of stuff has happened for a lot of reasons but this is between Zelda and me. I'm not planning on running away from my own part in all of this. When it comes down to it that's what needs to be fixed and I'm the only one who can fix it. You can trust that I'll give it my all so just stay out of this."

The steadfast promise in his eyes was one that not even the tooth of time could touch. It dug into Peach. It was a whisper of the spirit of the boy who picked up his sword and walked on without ever turning around and always rising when falling in the dust. The legendary hero whose fate was to fight the same battle time and time again but never growing faint of heart in the eye of evil. Never allowing any other ending than the triumph of good. If he so had to walk to the end of the world.

These thoughts crossed Peach's mind and trapped her in a daze when Link turned around to walk to wherever Zelda was, which was still the pretty ordinary and not very far away kitchen. The hero had not taken more than four steps when he, for some reason, gave up on his dramatic exit.

"And if this doesn't work out I know _exactly_ who to blame," Link said in a low voice and snapped his head in Master Hand's direction. The floating hand discreetly tried to sink down behind the couch. Link looked angry enough to beat him to death with the pretty flower bouquet he was holding.

"Wait!" Peach called after the Hylian. She mentally slapped herself for getting lost in fantasies. Link quirked an eyebrow.

"Yes?"

"Even without you saying it we feel that we've played a role in this. Right, Mario honey?"

Mario shrugged.

Peach had not noticed that she had risen from the couch but it was simply that impossible for her to sit quietly on the sidelines. She had been there and heard Zelda's outburst, and according to that they were more entangled in this than a tiny fly in a black widow's web. She herself was very lucky to have Mario who who would tell her all the right things in an instant without being annoyed with her. Now she needed to do the same thing for Zelda and repair the damage.

"Think about it, Link," Peach said. "You're only making it worse when you try talking with her, am I right? I can put in a good word for you when I talk to Zelda. All you have to do is be patient. And trust me."

Link stroked his chin. Zelda did often confide in Peach and a woman's best friend was a powerful weapon not to be underestimated. Someone as persuasive as Peach, whatever he thought of her in person, would be a useful ally. That could not be denied.

"Why would you help me?" Link asked and took a step closer. Peach smiled and cocked her head to the side innocently. He was hooked.

"I only want what's best for Zelda and it looks as if that might be you. You _are_ going to treasure her, aren't you?"

Link grimaced. That was what he wanted and he would make an honest try but he had thought he had done a good job already, until Zelda told him otherwise. Quite forcefully so.

"Well?" Peach pressed. "No matter how I feel about you it is Zelda's feelings that matters but I need some kind of proof that I can entrust her to you. Or else I'll make sure that she does not so much as dream about giving you a second chance. I'm serious. I'll throw pajama parties and keep her up for as long as it takes."

Link looked to the side and frowned. For what felt like the longest time they stayed like that until Peach felt her hand being grabbed by his larger one. The Hylian got down on one knee before her and both Peach and Mario's mouths fell open. From above Peach saw the Hylian's shoulders rise when he breathed in and she felt his forehead press to the back of her hand. She closed her mouth just in time before his head shot up and he stared intensively into her eyes.

"I am begging you for help."

From someone who had proudly and promptly turned down her help this was all the proof Peach needed. Next to her Mario was wiping his face with a napkin and mumbling something to himself. It sounded like, "gave me a scare," but Peach could not be sure.

"You can count on us, Link. Let me talk to Zelda and get a better grasp of her side of the story and then all you have to do is to follow my instructions." Peach closed her eyes. "Rise," she said in her most royal tone. It caused her to miss the pessimistic look on Link's face, which gave away that he would not follow her orders unless he felt like it.

A blissfully oblivious Peach gave each of the two men a nod and began walking towards the kitchen with the serenity of a saint on a mission. That relaxing feeling disappeared like a popped bubble when she heard footfalls behind her. A swift turn of her head was all it took to stop Mario and Link dead in their tracks.

"You two wait here, please," she said and despite the politeness it was clearly out of question to disobey. The two men were left right in the middle of the living room like two children lost at the mall. They exchanged a long awkward look.

"So..." Link said.

"So-a..." Mario said. He scratched a spot near his temple and Link locked his hands behind his back before both looked away like caught criminals. The Hylian rocked on the soles of his feet and the plumber moved on to fidgeting with the base of his red cap.

"So, uhm, you didn't make a move on Zelda or anything?" Link said, daring a glance.

"No-no," Mario said and met Link's stare as if there had never been any evasiveness from either of them. "And you and Peachie?"

Link shook his head. "Not my type."

That was enough. It was hard to put one's finger on but Mario would compare the feeling to getting one's hands on a green mushroom. Even if nothing showed on the outside the feeling within was like a break of dawn in the heart. They were friends again and in the eyes of this fresh start all the bad feelings were a thing of the past. This could very well be a hugging moment, and that hit them like a Hammer Bro's hammer. Their heights made it more of a hassle than it had to be. If Link got to choose he would rather not bend down to wrap his arms around the mustached man and how weird would a pat on the back look? They scrutinized one another for quite a while, until identical grins burst forth on their faces.

"You know, the Delfino Dolphins are playing-a the Koopa Comets this-a Saturday." Mario said.

"Yeah, there's no way I'd miss that."

* * *

In the kitchen Zelda left the dish brush in the sink and put the clean cup back in the cupboard. The hem of her dress was lifted centimeters off the floor when she reached for the top shelf and revealed her standing on her toes. Her feet were what Peach's eyes were on when she approached Zelda from behind. She readied herself to clear her throat. Her courage was like a liquid dancing beyond the grasp of gravity, and her fingertips. Before she could gather it Zelda turned around and flinched. The two of them stood frozen and stiff but meanwhile their eyes in contrast softened and became glassy with emotion.

"Peach," Zelda said, forcing her lips open, and in the blink of an eye Peach had closed the small gap between them. She wrapped her thin arms as tightly around Zelda's upper body as she could and pressed her cheek to her friend's pale pink dress. This close she could tell that Zelda's breathing was disturbed by her emotions. It took a while, but then Peach found that she sunk with Zelda's chest when she relaxed and felt Zelda's arms move over her shoulders and come to rest on her back. When they parted the Hylian's eyes narrowed resolutely.

"Peach," she began once again, a hundred explanations and apologies on the tip of her tongue but Peach shook her head.

"I know. You don't see Mario that way, right? I was stupid for thinking like that."

"You're not forcing yourself to say this? Peach. If there is anything, anything at all, that you are still worrying about, some situation that is still unclear, do not hesitate to tell me. I am sure that I can offer you an explanation to whatever it might be."

"Don't _you_ have things on your mind you want to talk with me about?"

Without either of them having to say another word the two moved over to the kitchen table hand-in-hand and sat down. Peach grabbed her seat and turned the chair so that she faced Zelda. At the same time she made sure to move closer – close enough to reach out and place a hand on Zelda's arm.

"Just to make things clear," Peach said and Zelda felt her warmth even through both their gloves. "Mario will always be my only one."

Zelda sighed. "I know how much you love Mario. I am actually quite envious of how much faith you are able to put in love alone. I am not sure that Link cares even half as much about me as I do about him and that is enough for my own love to be overcome."

"But it's still there? The love has not changed? It's just been... hidden underneath a blanket or something?"

"That's not relevant," Zelda said matter-of-factly. "There are other affecting factors needed to be taken into account. I would say that they are a bit harder to disregard from than a... blanket."

"That's great! That's not a no then?" Peach said and happily patted Zelda's arm. The other princess gave no reply, which Peach knew meant that she was taken aback (anyone else would have taken it for silent arrogance). She had to be quick now as not to lose this opportunity. "How about you tell me about these factors from beginning to end?"

* * *

After hearing Zelda's story Peach leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms as she looked up at the ceiling.

"What a pickle," she sighed. Zelda was leaning a bit forward and appeared to be blind for everything but Peach. The pressure was on. Failing to be there for Zelda now would be like leaving Bambi in the snow after his mother was shot. The longer Peach thought about what would be the right thing to do, the more the hope in Zelda's eyes faded.

"I-I guess that I was expecting Link to take all of my worries away and when he didn't. When he confirmed them. What should I do? I'm at a complete loss. I'm afraid that I will grow bitter and hateful if I leave things as they are. With that constantly in mind I cannot stand loving him," Zelda rambled and filled the silence with the overtaking doubts.

"Zelda, this is no good," Peach said, which was the exact same thing she was thinking, and pulled the other princess to her feet. She knew to trust her own intuition and right now it told her it was no good sitting here brooding if they could not come up with anything constructive. "You've been worrying that pretty little head of yours too much." She knocked on Zelda's golden circlet that was in the way of her forehead. Zelda clasped her hand over the deep red ruby in the centre that Peach had hit and stared at her in shock.

"Peach," Zelda said reproachfully and was shocked speechless again when Peach pinched both her cheeks.

"You know I don't mean it like that. Really. But, seriously, soon your brain will go on an overload and before I know it I will find you on the floor somewhere with smoke coming out of your head."

Zelda frowned with red spots on her cheeks where Peach had pinched them.

"It's too much, Zelda," Peach said and shook her head with a gentle smile on her face. "This thing with Marth too on top of everything. How about you forget about everything else and start off talking with him? I'm sure that he would not want such a stupid thing to come between you. It'll cheer you up to be friends again – you feel good about things being worked out between us, right? You'll have one thing less to worry about and maybe you can even spend some quality time together and get you mind off Link for a bit?"

"I'm not sure. I behaved rather badly. It's enough for me that the two of us have made up, Peach, and maybe I should leave Marth alone until he is ready to forgive me? I don't want to force things when he might not want to see me at all."

"That's an ashamed person running away. I'm sure that Marth does not blame you, and if you allow him to tell you so you won't have to blame yourself anymore either."

Zelda cringed.

"You can trust me, Zelda. How about this? Wait in here for five minutes and then go into the living room. I promise you that Marth will come to _you _to make up. How does that sound?"

Zelda looked skeptical. "Marth said he had a match in the morning. I'm quite sure he went to bed early."

Peach's response was to grab Zelda and turn her around so that she found herself staring at the clock hanging on the wall.

"Now we've been shy enough," Peach said. "Remember, five minutes. That is all you have to think about, m'kay? Nothing else."

She let go of Zelda and smiled when the other princess did not turn back around again or walk away. Zelda could be sneaky though, so when Peach got to the entrance she made a surprise turn. The only thing she found was that the Hylian was taking her mission of keeping the time very seriously. Ah, things going this smoothly sure left Peach satisfied. So satisfied in fact that she hummed quietly to herself when she entered the living room. The song came to an abrupt stop though. Much to Peach's surprise, Link and Mario were standing in the middle of the room right where she had left them. They were free to do that if they liked. The befuddling thing was that Link lit up, and his ears perked up, at the sight of her skipping into the room. Had she forgotten something?

* * *

(A/N)

Zelda always seems to be the one who comes out on top but I do not think anyone stands a chance against Peach once she settles for something.

I would like to apologize for the delayed update. I would have finished this weeks ago but because of some unforeseen personal issues getting in the way it did not happen and once I had dealt with them I did not feel as inspired. Maybe it is because I have been feeling gloomy every time I have been reading what I have tried to scramble together but the humor seems meaner and not as light-hearted as before. Still, we got some male and female bonding. Maybe that counts for something?

For the ones who would like to know: I update about once a month. The crux is that I am working on a few different stories and it is quite random which one of them I will update so the breaks between chapters can be longer. I am a hard worker but not an effective one (often I read through what I have already written to get started and when I reach the end I sit and stare like a fool without being able to continue).

I am feeling a bit extra bad about letting myself be beaten down and not getting around to writing as people have been very enthusiastic and it makes me want to try harder. Of course I feel that I want to deliver in return (it's the least I can do). I am immensely grateful. You can bet on that. It is any writer's wish that people want to read more, right?

Lots of thanks to you reading this. Special thanks to the reviewers who have all been wonderful as always. Späsjal Thänks to Razcoolzle who inspired the current direction of the story (can I call her my muse without it being taken as creepy? … I thought so...) and to Met Guard whose insightful comments are always very helpful.


	8. Killing Two Birds with One Stone

******Turned Tables**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**-o-**

**Killing Two Birds with One Stone**

* * *

**N.B. **The first part of this chapter was originally the end part of chapter 7. That means, if you have read this story before you can scroll down to the first horizontal ruler breaking the story to read the continuation.

* * *

"Well?" Link said anxiously once Peach stood before him and Mario.

"Well what?" Peach said.

"Have you fixed things with Zelda or not?"

"Everything worked out splendidly."

"Really?"

"M-hm," Peach nodded, feeling Link's eagerness rub off on her. "We've solved our misunderstanding and are the best of friends again."

Considering how enthusiastic he had been, Link did not exactly seem to be rejoicing in sharing this wonderful news with her. Maybe he was so happy he was at a loss for words? Peach kept smiling at him while Mario's eyes were shifting between them.

"That's-a great-a," the plumber broke the silence and snapped Link out of his sudden muteness.

"Wonderful. Swell," the Hylian said with what could not be half the feeling of Mario's "great-a" and gave Peach an encouraging smile. "And what about Zelda and me?"

Peach blinked at him and the corner of Link's mouth twitched.

"Oh, that," Peach laughed and waved her hand dismissively. "I'll get to that."

Grumpy the dwarf would look like Happy next to Link. He held up the bouquet of flowers that were already wilting and hanging miserably like tear-like lilies-of-the-valley rather than the proud straight daisies they had started out as.

"I've blown my chance to give her these because of you," Link said and the frustration broke through when he saw that Peach was glaring at him with a look that said, "you ruined my daisies" rather than showing any remorse over ruining his life, or that she was at least listening to what he was saying.

"Why didn't you put them in water?" Peach said as if he had killed someone. The Hylian hero squeezed the green stems that were feeling a lot weaker compared to when he had taken them from the vase. It was like having a bunch of spaghetti straws boiled in one's hand.

"You," Link began when he was cut off by Mario clearing his throat. The plumber gave Link a warning look before he grinned at his beloved princess.

"Do you need-a help with anything-a?" he asked.

"That's very sweet of you. I might need your help later but not now," Peach said. Her gaze hardened when she locked eyes with Link again. "I've got it all under control."

Link had about nine snide remarks ready but he held them back. When he gave no reply Peach bobbed her head and said, "be good and stay ready for my instructions." She curtsied, or more like made the smallest bend of her knees while glaring daggers at the Hylian hero.

Both Mario and Link's eyebrows shot up to their hairline when Peach stormed off. She made it seem as if she was about to but came to a halt after only about three steps and looked from side to side as if she was searching for something. Zelda was obviously still in the kitchen so what in the world was she looking for?

Link snorted. "What is that–"

"Link," Mario interrupted him. Link looked down and found the plumber narrowing his eyes at him.

"Sorry," Link said. "She means well but you've got to admit that she's not helping. I want to trust her but can't you talk to her or something?"

"I'm-a sure she has a plan. Peachie knows these-a things and if there is-a anyone you can trust it's-a her."

"You just broke the bro code, man," Link said with a brief smile. If Mario believed that much in Peach maybe she did deserve a chance. She had a reputation as a skilled matchmaker and Mario if anyone ought to have seen her in action. He should not be impatient. He knew that he could be rash. He freed one flower from the bouquet and twirled it between his thumb and index finger. Instead of letting life seep away because he was ready to jump on every opportunity it was wiser to be able to let go and let grow – like letting the flowers stay in the clear water. "I'm sorry," Link said and Mario happily shook his head as if to say, "no need."

Both let their eyes move over to Peach who was now walking across the room in a line so straight that it was as if she had been walking a tightrope. Then they saw the blue thing at the end of the invisible line Peach was following. Mario froze. The flower Link had selected was crushed by his first.

_Marth._

* * *

Peach tip-toed up behind the Prince of Altea and smiled to herself when she eyed his rigid back. The long dark cape would not be moved by the smallest shift of weight on his foot and his head remained stubbornly pointed at the thick book jammed into the bookcase straight in front of his nose.

"Prince Marth," she said and her smile grew wider when he spun around and bowed.

"Princess Peach."

"Can I ask you for a favor?"

His immediate response was to bring her hand up to his lips and place a light kiss upon it.

"How may I be of service?"

"Really? I heard you were going to bed early and thought it might be a bother."

"Thank you for your concern. I was... just looking for something to read before I go to bed," he said, letting go of her hand and opening up his arms. "Nothing of importance. It was more of an impulse as I had nothing better to do. If there is anything I can do for you it will be my pleasure."

He smiled, but Peach had caught the millisecond hesitation and she was not one to let a good opportunity go – it was equally bad to returning a heartfelt gift. She took a step closer, and seemed to invade Marth's personal bubble at the same time. Although, it might be worth noting that Marth would not (visibly) draw back from anything female, if it so were a Jynx. Such solecism was something any good nobleman stood _way_ above.

"How very kind of you, Marth, but are you sure you're not being a bit too much of a gentleman?"

"No. Why?"

"Weeell, it seems to me that you want to stay here."

"I can read at any time and it was not as if I had a particular book I looked forward to reading. I assure you it is no bother."

Peach giggled melodiously. "I think you misunderstood me. Could it be that you're really loitering around here to run into a certain someone? Like Zelda?"

"_L-loitering around_?"

"Marth, Marth, we both know that if you were looking for a book you'd go to the library of the house. This bookcase here is more of a decoration. I think I have heard you say so yourself."

"I thought I saw quite an interesting title here yesterday," the prince mumbled, lowering his head.

"Mm-hm, I could not help but to notice that your eyes wouldn't move from," Peach leaned to the side. "_Bokmål for Beginners?_ That sounds very thought provoking. It must be why you kept staring at it without taking it out to have a better look."

Marth pressed his lips together, into one strictly defined line, and held her gaze. So he was still feigning ignorance? Time to put and end to the diplomacy and open fire then, and why not pull out the bazookas right away?

"I'm sure it's a really interesting book. Back to what I was going to ask. You see, I just had a little talk with Zelda and she mentioned you had an argument of sorts because you were afraid to get into a fight with Link while – na-ah, no need to make that kind of face."

"Pardon, milady. If I may, allow me to interpose that stress might be a preferred choice of words here. It might sound like a small difference but I wanted to listen to Princess Zelda as badly as I wanted to avoid being interrupted and getting into an unnecessary fight. Had things developed that way I am sure it would have hurt Zelda more. Besides, it is one of my principles not to partake in any brawls on my spare time. Regrettably, Link's and my opinion differs on that instance. To put it bluntly I know from experience that whenever a certain princess is concerned his fuse seems to be cut in half. My attention was divided and that was all there was to it."

"I'm not here to pry or to blame. I know how important it is to you to be in the best shape possible for a match. Always the dedicated one. That is why, if you turn Zelda down for sleep you'd need a very good reason to be up now. One better than admiring our bookcase. So? Was I right? Were you waiting for her?"

Marth finally allowed himself to look away but Peach waited it out with her encouraging smile and earnest eyes. She could afford to be patient. She had him at pointblank range (with a metaphorical bazooka) and pushed into a corner.

"'Tis indeed correct, milady," Marth finally gave in with a sigh. "I said that I was merely being distracted but, truth to tell, it does not do much to improve my situation. It doesn't change that I wasn't fully listening when she came to me to seek just that, somebody who would listen. There is no way I can go to sleep without solving it first but I have not yet decided how to best approach her." He fell silent and Peach guessed he was deciding how much to tell her. "I will gladly apologize as many times as it takes but I cannot take back my words. I tried to be honest with her when we spoke, and it is still my honest opinion that she take the man back, as I know it is what she truly wants."

This revelation had to be quite the dilemma because the prince looked pretty much ready to hang himself. Peach almost reached out to remove a rope she thought herself seeing around his neck but halfway through she clasped her hands together.

"There, there, Marth, I think that you're as responsible and considerate as ever – even giving up the sleep you wanted so badly to make things right. It's strange how hard it can be for some people to say 'I'm sorry' but, of all things. that's the last thing you're thinking of running away from. Don't underestimate that. This is a secret but a 'sorry' says more about a man's character than an 'I love you.'"

That seemed to have done the trick. The Altean looked a little taller all of a sudden, and plenty happier when he confidingly leaned in towards her.

"Milady, there are also those who will take advantage of the value of a sorry. No true man would want to be associated with a lowly creature that uses someone's forgiveness to commit one foul deed after another and come crawling back depending on that sorry time and time again. If one knows the true value of a sorry one would make sure it needn't be uttered – to spare the innocence of a generous soul. I'd want the woman I love to wake up to an 'I love you' every morning and never fall asleep with whatever things she has been made to forgive on her mind."

"Oh, Marth," Peach gasped and clasped a hand over her heart while fanning herself with the other. "Somehow I always find myself blushing in a conversation with you."

"Please," Marth responded with a chuckle, "I'm the one being flattered by your endearing ideals."

* * *

"Suck-up," Link and Mario said with one mouth. They were too far away to overhear the actual conversation but Peach's giggling, hand-waving and constant smiling said more than enough.

"But," Peach said and smacked her lips, "Link and you are not that much alike, Marth. He doesn't think like that."

Marth froze but as Peach seemed to expect a reply he cleared his throat.

"True. It cannot be denied. He is..."

"Using 'I love you' as a way to get out of trouble," Peach helped to fill in while eyeing a dirty spot on the ceiling and Marth nodded to himself.

"His apology showcases..."

"The same thing there," Peach said casually.

"And Zelda..."

"Is stuck putting her own feelings aside because Link will not do it once."

"Yet he..."

"Takes it all for granted," Peach finished the sentence and noted to herself that Marth's face had become a little redder while nodding at her – _very innocent_ – additions. Perhaps one tiny push more would make him feel comfortable enough with her to stop being polite about the subject of discussion? She drew a deep remorseful sigh and shook her head.

"What can Link offer just taking and taking? There's no shame in having nothing to give but this is different. I know that no prince – no offense – can replace what having Mario in my life gives me, but Zelda's just hurting and I doubt Link even gets that. To him everything is perfect so long as he thinks it is."

"It's despicable," Marth cut in a bit more forcefully than he would usually allow himself to. It looked like he would not let it go further, but Peach nodded in eager agreement, hanging onto his every word, and he inhaled to go on. Not without a tint of bitterness, and the taste of satisfaction that comes with letting out something that – like yeast – had been left to prove, rise and swell inside. "It goes beyond me why any woman would be drawn to that kind of man. His apparent selfishness is insulting to witness. I have heard Zelda express fear of being ungrateful and a complainer for not being overjoyed doing nothing but appeasing him more times than I care for. Who in their right mind would settle with that? Does he not know what he has? Is he... He is..."

"A male chauvinist?" Peach suggested.

"An _imbecile_," Marth spat and if Hell existed it would crumble when that word was spoken. By the sound of it that was the true root of all evil. A pest brought about by incompetence beyond the comprehension of man.

"I don't know why," Link said, turning to Mario, "but I feel more irritated the longer I watch those two."

Mario looked from the Hylian back to Peach and the prince who, whatever they were talking about, were clearly agreeing to no end. It was a real nodding feast. Well, so long as the mood was of a more serious nature than a flirtatious one there was no harm in getting along. Peach's friendliness was one of the things Mario had always liked the most about her. She was a giver and if he could not stand it he was not the right guy for her. Luckily, he could lean back, letting his cap slope down his forehead, safely saying that he was.

* * *

"About that favor," Peach said, batting her eyes at Marth.

"Certainly."

The prince made another bow and Peach a quick get-it-over-with-curtsy.

"I think we can help each other out. I really want Link to see things from a different point of view – I want to help, you see – but it's just _such a challenge_. You understand? Now that you wanted to make up with Zelda I was thinking, why not kill two birds... what a horrible saying. Why not split the dough?"

Marth arched an eyebrow. "In this context?"

"Yes, you know, like by splitting the dough and adding some cocoa powder to one half you can bake muffins both with and without chocolate and won't have to choose. You're using the same dough to get both."

Peach was beaming so happily that Marth gestured for her to go on.

"So, Marth, how about you put on those princely charms of yours while making up with Zelda and give Link a run for his money? That should solve everything."

Peach shaped a rainbow with her hands in a typical tah-dah-fashion and Marth looked like he had just bitten off half a lemon. Once the first feelings of shock had faded he did nothing but open and close his mouth in, what Peach would describe as, a striking imitation of a fish.

"I'm engaged," he said the seventh time his mouth opened.

"Oh, it's not for real or anything."

"Princess Peach," he said and stressed the formal address. "You know the people we are currently living with. Shiida is not near enough thousands of miles away for me to rule out that upon my return I will find that she has been sent the whole spectacle, from its most unflattering angle, on some kind of disc with moving images."

"A DVD?"

"A TV see," Marth corrected himself with a nod, "and I will be _doomed_."

"I will take full responsibility," an unfazed and smiling Peach said.

"But it is not morally defendable to do such a thing, neither to Shiida nor Zelda," Marth objected and paused to swallow. "Even without them knowing I cannot. Even if I could I have no desire to."

"But there's no one who could pull it off but you! There's a reason why Link can't stand you and you know it. He knows how close you and Zelda are. Not only that. You're so charming, what woman could resist you? You've got the brains, you're a true gentleman, a good listener and you're handsome to boot. You have so much to offer and so many good traits. Anyone would be flattered for your attention."

Marth was about to say that he was not in the least charming, not smart either for that matter. He did not possess as much as an ounce of clever wit even; not enough to _entertain_ a woman. He was as far from a gentleman as anyone could get, completely incapable of lending an ear. Just look at his poor treatment of Zelda. Add that if there was_ anything_ he was _not_ it was handsome (with his scrawny body and sullen face). There! What could_ any_ woman see in him? Although we cannot be entirely sure that this was what he had been about to say, and that might make it unfair to claim so. When it comes down to it that was not his actual reaction. He closed his mouth, leaned back and made a stroke across his bangs with his long fingers.

"Well," he said.

"Don't be humble, Marth. I'm just telling the truth," Peach said and made sure to look at him adoringly in a way that could only have been topped had Mario been the one standing in front of her.

"No matter if that is the truth or not we both know that Zelda would never consider me."

"You're not supposed to succeed," Peach snickered but fell back into her role of complete, and serious, admiration when she saw Marth raise his chin and freeze up. It might be too late though.

"I'm afraid I must decline, milady. Link would definitely seek to settle his score with me, which I am far from in the mood for. My precautions up until now would have been for naught."

"But this isn't because Link will be too much for you?"

"_That _has never been the issue," Marth replied while looking smug. An expression he quickly replaced with his usual dignified look.

"Then, for Zelda's sake? You're trying so hard avoiding unnecessary fighting but isn't it worth it in this case? I'll tell you something I really should be keeping a secret but because it's you and I think you can make things better I'll make an exception. Zelda's feeling down for more reasons than one. Right now she is twice as miserable because she does not have you. She really wants to make up with you but she's afraid that you'll be mad at her."

Marth raised his thin eyebrows.

"She'll be overjoyed if you'll be... _friendly _and Link will have no choice but to step up his game. That's what we all want, right? Besides, didn't you _promise _you'd help me?"

"I did give you my word," Marth said, trying hard not to draw back from the power that was Peach's puppy-dog eyes. Even without them the battle was most likely won. A promise had more power over Marth than Shiida had. "I assume that is what I can do to make my previous blunder up to her."

"Exactly! So if Link picks a fight over something like that?"

"I will not allow him to interfere any longer."

* * *

(A/N)

Sorry for the long wait. I hit a real writer's block and, as my note indirectly mentioned at the top of the page, this is just half a chapter and not exactly a "real" update. As has been pointed out, my chapters have become longer and longer. I tried to do something about the last chapter, at least, and be rid of what little I had on the new chapter that I did not like (killing two birds with one stone). I am sorry for this rather preachy and, like the previous one, gloomy chapter. It was a big mistake bringing Peach and Marth together because neither is a very big fan of Link.

I should kick Marth out. I bet that would solve everything. Whenever he opens his mouth he talks and talks and talks. I love him though. It is hard not to make fun of him (like when Peach sees right through his motive to stay in the living room His Highness is more upset about her suggesting he would be _loitering around_. I am a bit embarrassed about liking jokes like that, which might not necessarily seem like jokes). It also amuses me how Marth sticks to his high morals. He is the one of the few who actually thinks before he acts, and you can bet he does not partake in the daily food-fights. Yet he secretly likes gossip and I think he yearns to speak his mind freely sometimes, as his politeness would result in him putting up with a lot of things instead of commenting on them.

I tried to cut out sentences from the previous chapter while I was in the process of cutting it down. I was spelling things out too much, as I was told. I felt that Peach's thoughts were constantly changing and I did not want to contradict myself. It ended up sounding very much the same though. The funny thing is that after I had given the chapter a read-through and been merciless the word count remained more or less unchanged. I had added about as much as I had cut^^; It would appear I am a slow learner. Thank you all for putting up with me. I will try to do better next time and write a real chapter. Thank you, all of you wonderful readers and special thanks to the reviewers. If you want Link/Zelda (because that seems to be a reoccurring mention) you will get it.

One last thing before I go: If I were to break off an engagement in any of my stories I would put a lot of focus on it, what caused it and how everyone involved feels and reacts about it. I would not be able to take it lightly. What I want to say with this is that I am still not intending to pull any stunts with the pairings. Marth and Shiida will stay engaged and as for Zelda and Link, no matter how they fight, their feelings for each other and their shared past will not disappear in the blink of an eye.


	9. Back to Square One

**Turned Tables**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**-o-**

**Back to Square One**

* * *

"Oh, Ma-ri-oo." Peach's melodious voice danced into Mario's ear. He spotted her on the other side of the room, hiding behind a corner and waving at him to hurry on over. The short man shifted his feet and glanced at Link next to him. Peach's discreetness, which was about on the same level as Donkey Kong assuming incognito equaled a pair of black glasses, had amazingly passed him by. Or perhaps not so amazingly after all. Zelda had entered from the kitchen barely a minute ago and the Hylian hero was much too busy watching Marth plop down on the couch next to her like a king on his throne.

"I'll-a be right back," Mario said and Link nodded.

"Mario darling," Peach greeted her plumber and pulled him around the corner as soon as he came within an arm's reach. Her hand clasped over his mouth and her lively eyes moved rapidly from side to side. He played along and waited. Had she sprayed something on her white gloves? Or maybe her natural scent had rubbed off? Perhaps it was because of how close they were that this new allure invaded his senses?

"_Si_?" he said once her hand was removed.

"I could really use your help, sweetie pie."

"That's-a what I-a said before, right? You can always count-a on me."

"Oh, Mario!" Peach squealed and threw her arms around his neck, nearly tackling him. She quickly pulled back, slapping her palm over her mouth, its smile still betrayed. Above all by her squinting eyes. "Right. This is a top secret mission," she added in a whisper. "We must be–"

"Top secret you say?"

The couple jumped and spun around to find Master Hand hanging over them, putting them in his ominous shadow.

"We, ah, we," Peach stammered when it hit her that there was no longer anything strange about her being caught alone with Mario.

"You thought you could sneak off and escape my all-seeing eye. That's what you thought, you sneaky little lovebirds. I'm right, aren't I? Just you wait. You will feel my wrath like Mr. Game & Watch before he was turned flat."

Mario and Peach looked at each other. What eye?

"Did you forget-a?" Mario said.

"We're back together. After Zelda broke it off with Link there wasn't really anything to keep us away from each other."

"Oh, right," the hand's voice echoed into empty silence before returning with renewed force. "I don't like this. I don't get how it happened. I never got to say anything about it being fine that you broke up or got back together."

The couple nodded in perfect sync. Both ground their teeth and agreed in silence to say nothing. _Don't. Encourage. Him_.

"What's top secret then?"

"Our top secret-a love meeting, of course," Mario said and threw his arms out. "Too many-a people. No time alone-a."

"Y-yes," Peach managed to squeak, and nodded vigorously, right before she let out a surprised yelp when Mario's large hands found their way around her waist and swung her into an elegant dip. The space between their lips decreased and Peach felt her suddenly heavy eyelids more than she noticed the vision of the world, and Master Hand, disappearing. She could still clearly see her beloved one's face even as her eyes closed, and it was all that she wanted to see.

"_Cara mia._"

"_Mon cher_."

"Yuck." Master Hand shuddered and floated elsewhere.

Mario whistled and freed a hand to wipe his brow. He was just about to bring Peach back up on her feet when he felt the collar of his shirt tighten around his neck when two small fists pulled him back down.

"Don't stop now!"

Considering how much strength she had put into this unexpected move Mario was more than surprised by the short sweet kiss he was given, albeit Peach's closed lips pressed a bit harder on his than usually. Well, if she wanted it so badly. He caressed her rosy cheek when he moved away, only to make it clear to her with one look that he had no intention of stopping. He kissed her back, more gently, and for a longer amount of time.

"About that help," Peach said brightly the second their lips parted and bounced out of his arms.

"Y-yes-a?"

"I need you to keep Link out of the way for a while. You know how he can be rather... _impulsive_." She nodded to herself. "Stubborn. Tactless."

"Peachie," Mario interrupted her musings.

"I wouldn't like him in the way of Marth and Zelda's make up date."

The plumber stared at the smiling princess. He furrowed his brow. Furrowed it some more. In the end he had to say something.

"Marth-a really uses makeup-a?"

"What? No! At least I don't think so. I mean that I set them up to get a chance to be friends again."

"But, what-a about Link? Weren't-a Link and Zelda supposed to make up-a?"

Peach nodded happily.

"I-a don't-a think it's-a the best way," Mario said and spied for her reaction. How could another guy, Marth no less, make it better? If he himself had been in Link's boots he would have taken something like that as a sign to spare them all from further trouble and humiliation by using those boots to walk out the nearest door. Or out of a window if no door was available. Or why not make a hole in the wall? This set off some serious alarm Bob-ombs inside of him for his friend's sake.

"It'll be fine. When the charming gentlemanly prince ensures the princess of his undying affection the former lover will realize that the only way for him to keep the one dear to him is to prove that he is the better man. But what is he to do when it seems her heart has already decided that man isn't him? He will lay out his heart to her." Peach breathlessly interrupted her story and pulled out a green pointy hat, awfully similar to Link's, which she put on her head before she continued in a deeper voice. "He'll say, '_Zelda, my sweet.'_"

Mario seriously doubted that.

"He'll say," Peach repeated in her poor imitation of a man's voice. "Zelda, I'm an unworthy impulsive stubborn tactless man. There is nothing I can do or say to make you want me, and I only want to make you happy so I'll let you go. But I love you so much I can't leave without first telling you in how many ways I adore you. And then I will walk out in the mud and rain and never return, meaning I'll _die_ even if I did not say it out straight. Her eyes will fill with sorrowful tears and she will run after him and they will live happily ever after."

Peach took off the hat and returned it to whatever place in which she also stored her frying pan, golf club, tennis racket, a toad or two and other convenient things. She cleared her throat with her eyes closed and locked her hands behind her back. Mario twirled the tip of his mustache between his fingers.

"Peachie," the plumber said. "Can't-a we just tell-a Link to say that and forget-a the jealous part-a?"

"No, no, _no_!" Peach said with the desperation of a child trying to explain to its parents why it had to be the red lollipop and not the green one. "It has to be _spontaneous_. Don't you see? It won't mean anything if it's not _spontaneous_."

Okie dokie. Mario shrugged. Note to self: Spontaneous.

"So, go and keep Link out of the way until I give the signal," Peach said, grabbing his shoulders, turning him around and pushing him around the corner. Mario was about to ask what signal when Peach went from pushing to digging her fingers into his shoulders. Link was already taking the last few steps over to Marth and Zelda, interrupting, what one could tell even from a distance to be, a very cordial conversation.

* * *

"Hi, room for one more?" Link said with a smile on par with one of Zelda's on his face.

The Hylian princess had one hand resting over the other and now it changed to a firm grip. Marth's eyes wandered from Link to the about-one-average-man wide space between himself and Zelda. He put on his famous spring breeze smile that would have made the crankiest old bag swoon and drew closer to the princess, by not being pushy effectively squeezing the two of them into the right corner.

"As you can see," Marth said, gesturing at the about-three-average-men wide space that was now free.

Zelda shifted, and every shift of movement caused her and Marth's arms to rub against each other – it was quite a feat to have avoided their pauldrons clashing. The prince's eyebrows flew up and he pulled away, with his upper body, not his legs, when he realized her discomfort. His arm was quickly moved to the backrest behind her, no longer touching but instead around her. The innocent smile he faced her with was returned briefly before Zelda's eyes flickered down to her hands. Marth turned back to Link. Only, now there was a small innocent tug at the corners of his lips. Was there even a small shrug of his shoulders?

Even without superspicy curry it would not be farfetched to expect Link to combust into flames. The mercilessly piercing screech of a boiling teapot was in the air when he flexed his fingers before slowly curling them and letting his hands form into fists.

"I think I'm really getting a hang of these kitchen things," Roy announced, his head appearing in the kitchen doorway. He proudly held up and shook a teapot with hot steam coming out of its pipe. And he was gone as quickly as he had appeared.

"Thanks," Link said. His widened smile showed off a line of white teeth when he sat down, with crossed arms, one seat away from the prince. He spread out a good deal and eyed the empty space still apparent between them.

"I think Link does not need quite that much space," Zelda broke the silence, even more occupied by her hands than before.

"Yeah, I didn't mean to hunt you two into a corner or anything," Link said. "You were here first after all." If he got to say so, he thought he pulled the noble courtesy tone off nicely. Better than Marth, for sure.

"Yes," Marth said and drew out the fading word. "Thank you." He moved, but no further than that his arm could stay around the princess.

The men's eyes locked. _Ding_. The sound of a bell. The fight was on.

"I finally figured out the microwave," Roy called from the kitchen.

The hero and the prince smiled at each other, neither fading, neither wavering, as stubborn as two Metapods maximizing and measuring their strength. The tension was increasing towards a breaking-point when Marth inhaled to speak, but Zelda's head snapped back up and she preceded him.

"Why are you here, Link?"

"I'm just going to watch some TV," he snapped, getting a look past Marth. He grabbed the remote with a wild swing and pressed his thumb down on the power button. One would almost be fooled to think that the remote had reactivated the hero's smiling face. That was how suddenly it was put back on. The remote was calmly put on the coffee table, next to the vase with half-wilted daisies, and the smiling contest resumed.

Zelda started leaning out, eyes tensely moving between the two of them.

"I hope the sound's not too loud," Link said.

"No, no, I assure you. I hope that it will not distract if Princess Zelda and I continue our conversation?"

"Please." The hero held up his hands. "Go ahead. You sure it's all right for me to be here?"

"Thank you. Actually, our conversation happened to concern you as well. I do believe Princess Zelda would agree that you would be free to listen if you so wished."

"Oh." Link quickly found his voice again. "Nothing bad I hope."

"Not at all. It was about your breakup."

There was a millisecond pause before Link's laughter broke out in response. "About our breakup? I see. Well, that's nice. That's really nice. Just swell." He laughed again and Marth joined in. Zelda leaned out a little bit more.

"At first it surprised me," Marth said. "My initial response was to suggest Princess Zelda to seek your reconciliation. We might want to believe in love more than it does us good sometimes. I see now that this was probably what was best for everyone."

"For someone who's not involved you sure got a perfect grasp of the whole thing," Link said heartily.

"In all due honesty, I always suspected it would come to this."

"As much as you've been hanging around Zelda, I can see why you would be able to predict something like that."

"Even without that. As a prince, I can say I doubt the castle life would have suited you well. I fear it would have added an unnecessary burden to Princess Zelda's duties. Nothing anyone can help though. Least of all you."

"Of course you'd know everything about this, being a prince and all. Actually, I wouldn't see a problem with working hard for the woman I love but there got to be some reason why you nobles always marry each other."

"True, true. Sadly, working hard will not suffice. Furthermore, the differences between you and Princess Zelda exceeds status. I think it was fortunate that this was brought to light before rather than after marriage."

They had to be reaching a limit beaming at each other. The light of friendliness, politeness and benevolence around the prince and the hero was blinding. Zelda was squinting at them, her lips bit by bit crawling into a smile that blended perfectly with the dazzling brightness. Probably with what lurked behind it as well.

"Differences? You're a real analyst, Marth. Yeah, what relationship would work out when there are differences?" Link said.

"If there is a lack of understanding one won't be able to satisfy, am I right? If there is no way to communicate there are, in reality, only two people very much alone. Although, it would be ten times worse if one person was not even interested in the other person's needs. The folly of one allowed to cause the pain of the other? Inexcusable."

"Kind of like people who are fake, who make themselves out to be a lot more than they really are. That's pretty selfish if you ask me; putting your own ego before someone else."

"Excuse me," Zelda mellifluously interrupted their friendly conversation and it was as though the aura around them had turned into hers alone. "Are you taking me for a fool?"

Marth, who had turned around at the sound of her voice, looked back to Link, whose eyes darted to Zelda, who waited, all the while surrounded by the treacherously sunny glow.

"Have we somehow upset you, milady?" Marth dared to speak.

"What do you mean, Zelda?" Link said, lowering his head when looking at the princess.

"So it was not your intension to insult each other over my head?"

The prince and the hero exchanged a look. They both played with the thought of shaking hands and joining forces, but no. Both were also doubting that the other would play along, or have the ability to convince Zelda. Instead there was a long awkward silence.

"Oh, _ooh._" Zelda's hands closed around the light pink fabric of her skirt. "How can you?" The merciless smile cracked and faded while she stared down at her lap. The two men winced. "Now? Like this."

The princess rose so suddenly that Marth and Link jolted to the corner of the couch.

"Good night."

"Wait!" the two of them called out. In just as perfect synchronization their eyes widened when they heard another voice echo with their own. Each of them snapped his head in the other person's direction to glare, both reading the same thing in the other's face: "You do not have any right to call her back."

"I think I've heard enough from both of you," Zelda said, voice threatening to shake from the anger that had already taken her smile. "I'm going to bed. You can continue your childish games without having to mind about me."

Clatter. Before his eyes, Link saw a tower of toy blocks collapse. A proud, tall and colorful tower that had already been pushed down once, and which one had put such care into rebuilding piece by piece – only to have it shattered again halfway through. It had been a small progress to bring Zelda back to hiding behind her fake smile, but it had been some progress.

The Hylian was halfway up from the couch. Save whatever may be saved or he would break, standing in ruins. He would not repeat the same mistakes and upset her further. The thing was that Marth had, somehow, already made it all the way over to Zelda's side, at the bottom of the stairs, and was right in the middle of a long row of apologies.

"The intention was never to insult you, Zelda. Trust that I wanted anything but to upset you. I wish I could take my actions back. I went overboard. I cannot apologize enough for it."

Link scowled. Since when was the prince using that kind of familiar address with Zelda? His expression was wiped off his face and left him with a blank stare when Marth took Zelda's hand in his own and cupped his other one over it.

"Please, milady, I will be very disturbed it you are feeling forced to leave like this. At least let me be the one to go."

"Marth," Zelda said, gazing at him. "I would not want you to leave. It has been a long day and I think I need to sleep. Do stay."

Marth bowed his head. "I have already stayed up longer than I intended. I'm also going to bed. Can I take this as there being no hard feeling between us?"

"Yes."

"Am I forgiven?"

"Yes."

"_What_?" Link cut in, standing right next to them and staring at Zelda. He leaned in closer, staring harder. Zelda tried to lean away but with little success.

"What?" she snapped back, straightening up again, and their faces ended up dangerously close.

"You can forgive the prince? Just like that?"

She stared at the floor, her eyes being lifted to his before her head followed and she faced him fully.

"First off, I wish you would not use our titles as insults. Second, Marth was being sincere, even too hard on himself. How could I not forgive him?"

"Sincere? You think he's being sincere?" Link gritted his teeth. The intensity in his eyes increased by tenfold. "Can't you see? He's sucking up to you!"

Marth cleared his throat.

"You are the one who has been trying to use flattery to get out of trouble this entire time," Zelda said, and had there been more space between them she would probably have taken a step closer. "Don't you dare accuse Marth of something like that."

"Marth this, Marth that. You want sincerity? Fine! I don't even get what you've been fussing about this whole time but I've been humbling myself and taken a lot of shit from you. You're dead set on there being no excuse. I can't believe I actually were thinking about flattering you, but I can tell I'd be falling short compared to your prince over there."

Marth cleared his throat louder.

"If that is all you want, Princess," Link said, her boiling anger in some incomprehensible way firing him up and making his words quicker and more agitated. "If you want someone kissing up to you and stroking your ego, then count me out. You think l would compete with that guy in who can sink the lowest? For you? That's the kind of guy you want? The biggest ass kisser?" He shook his head, raising his chin and staring her down.

"That is quite enough!" Marth forced them to become aware of his existence with a voice containing a strength that easily overshadowed his politeness. However, whether he had spoken or not, the Hylians' argument had run into a sudden tense silence. It was like a glass had been knocked over, sent rolling and rolling until getting too close to the edge. Everything slows down when it crosses into thin air. The sound of it rolling ceases, and it falls to the cold floor tiles below, ending it all with a loud crash.

Zelda was scrunching her face to hold back at least an ounce of the anger pouring out of her but this was far beyond her control. She could not speak, less fight the tears now defiantly trailing down her flushed cheeks.

A sudden forceful heartbeat took the breath out of Link. Fresh teardrops kept forming in Zelda's eyes and spilling over, while she kept trying to blink them away and lock them up inside. His face began to showcase the same hard struggle to control everything going on inside of him. He went from standing frozen to starting on fidgety movements that would never be followed through to an action. It was as if he was caught in the middle of a tug-of-war, all of the reactions canceling each other out. However, there was one thing surfacing from this sea of immobilizing chaos. One thing, which flashed in his mind over and over regardless of how contradictory his feelings were.

"Don't you dare cry on me!" he yelled, going up in her face. She pulled back. Her hand gripped the white wooden handrail of the stairs. A new wave of tears poured out when she no longer fought them. Her petrified eyes lost all emotion; They fell, and she felt her wet cheek with her free hand. She pursed her lips, whirled around, half pulling herself up the stairs, half hurrying on unsteady feet.

"Zelda, you unreasonable woman, you can't always run away when I'm trying to talk to you!" Link yelled after her, voice louder than before and his face redder. He grabbed the handrail as well, one heavy leather boot on the first step, when her door slammed shut on the floor above. He just stood there, breathing heavily, his shoulders rising and falling.

* * *

(A/N)

I would like to start off apologizing for the long wait. I am sorry. This summer has probably been the worst of my life. I am aware that this chapter has a lot more weak points than usual (at least I feel that way) but right now it is all that my blood, sweat and tears have resulted in (as sad as it is that actual effort was put into _this_). The way things are now I feel that I have already wasted too much energy on this.

The title of this chapter is misleading in a way. While it is true that a lot of things have returned to how they were a few chapters back (I tried to draw parallels to earlier chapters. No wonder I constantly had a feeling of déjà vu when writing this), the story is actually drawing close to its end. In the time that I have been gone I have decided how I want to end this story and this chapter is pretty much the start of everything coming to a close. Soon it will be time to say goodbye.

When I wrote (in the second chapter) that Link was happy that the one he was arguing with was Peach, because with Zelda he would be stuck fighting until late evening, not even I could predict that a fight between the Hylians would go to this length. It is funny how different people can be when it comes to anger. My father is the kind who has a seven minute limit. After seven minutes have passed he cannot stay mad. Well, no matter who we are it does not change that we are not nice when we fight, and it only becomes harder when it is with someone who is important to us.

In the next chapter I hope to add a bit more on just what went on in Link's head. Of course he his reasons. We always have reasons for what we do. Keeping that in mind rather than resorting to that someone _is_ this or that is actually a good way to communicate and move towards a solution rather than hurting someone. Does this mean I think Link's behavior was okay? Not at all. Communication is hard. Even with good intentions it is easy for things to come out wrong.

Thank you very much for the reviews for the last chapter! They have been such a beautiful ray of sun within all this darkness. I feel a bit guilty actually. I feel that I have implied that there would be more zelink in this chapter (or at least move in that direction). I am so happy for the support that people have showed them. How will Link and Zelda make up? Maybe it feels like the question have changed to "will they make up?" or even "should the make up?" I myself feel that it was rather unfair that Peach and Marth's actions could not backfire on themselves. Why is life unfair like that?

Thank you very much for reading, special thanks to the reviewers who have been lovely as usual. Späsjal Thänks this time goes to sippurp123, who has shown a lot more interest in this story than it deserves (well, I guess that goes for everyone but sippurp123 has been a great help to motivate me to get this chapter written).


	10. A Fool's Errand

**Turned Tables**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**-o-**

**A Fool's Errand**

* * *

"You are unsightly."

Marth's voice was unexpectedly dark but it was clearly something he mastered. Spring that makes winter melt away and the sun return sometimes makes one forget its nights are not like those of summer.

Link exhaled. His hand let go of the handrail, hovering over it. His foot moved back down from the first step to its neighbor.

"What?" Link said, turning around.

One by one, from the pinky to his pointing finger, the prince's fingertips tapped down on the golden hilt of his sword.

"I must admit, I have never had a high opinion of you but this goes below my worst expectations. Never before have I seen so ugly and wretched a thing as your soul."

"Now you're not mincing your words all of a sudden," Link said and his voice shook as though he were about to break into laughter. "You think you got the right to judge me? Play the good guy all you want but I'm not buying it. You knew exactly what you were doing before with Zelda. None of this would have happened if you hadn't started it by making me look bad in front of her. "

Link was sure he had hit the nail on the head but Marth looked, well, as unmoved and frustratingly straight and tall as an un-hit nail.

"I couldn't care less about the crap you cover up with those fancy words of yours but I won't have you playing your two-faced games with Zelda," the hero stressed. "If you hurt her..."

"Me? Hurt her? Surely you jest. I was not the one who a mere minute ago sent her away in tears. I think further proof lies in that you purposefully did so."

Marth started pacing the room. "I can see why you would be frustrated. No matter how you try to please her it ends in failure, then someone else succeeds, just like that." He snapped his fingers. "Did you finally come to terms with how helpless you are when she sees that she does not have to _settle_? You can fall to your knees, hold nothing back, put your heart in her hand, open for the world to see, and she will let it drop out of her palm and walk away."

They were not so far apart now. Marth leaned his head back and to the side, observing him, waiting.

"It would be the ultimate rejection."

Link shook his head, breathing in, and moved towards the other man.

"Boys, boys boys!" Peach forced herself in-between them. Marth backed away from her palm on the dark metal surface of his breastplate and loosened his hand from the knob at the top of Falchion's hilt. He cleared his throat.

"Princess Peach, I'm sorry if we caused a disturbance. I was merely confirming with Link that he had a good grasp of his current situation."

Link made a second attempt to move forwards, his chest again making contact with Peach's palm that she had almost let fall. The princess made the smallest pout, glancing in Link's direction, before she blinked at Marth, whose ocean blue eyes lifted from her to Link when he replied.

"I think he understands well enough. I'll be taking my leave, for tonight."

Peach stepped back and Marth bowed to her before walking up the stairs. Once he reached the top a glance at Zelda's door could not be avoided, but he went the other way and disappeared behind the wall.

* * *

"Well? Peach said, crossing her arms and turning to Link who did not find the energy to raise an eyebrow at her.

"What-a are you waiting for? Hurry up and go after Zelda." Mario said, showing up at Peach's side.

Link's gaze climbed up the stairs. Rumble Falls would have been a more welcoming sight. Marth's words weighted on him, as had he been drenched in water that was still dripping off him one droplet at a time. The prince had been right. He had _wanted_ to hurt Zelda.

Everything had been fine. They had always been happy together, ever since they were kids. Sure, there had been some bad times, but they were nothing to the good times, and then were the times that might not seem like anything special at all. The seconds, minutes, hours, and so on, when they simply _were_. Until it became strange to imagine what it would be like without her.

If she left she would take a big chunk of him with her and leave a gaping hole bigger than Kirby's stomach. He could not unlearn everything that he knew about her. He would still take notice of things she would like, look up ready to comment on the sit-coms they always watched together, think of her every time he played his Ocarina, be stuck with mushrooms on his plate that he used to trade for her olives and he would not have anyone to share those deepest private thoughts with. Even if she did not go far away, even if, let's say, all that happened was that they decided to stay good friends and things remained pretty much the same, there would be a world of difference.

They were too far gone. But he had walked into this looking towards the horizon and grabbed her hand firmly, never considering the possibility of being stuck far out there alone. He had been nothing but thankful for her. He had been anxious to make her as happy as himself, at the very least. He had begun to feel secure enough to think that she was.

He had not seen her anger coming at all. Such a slap to the face his cheek burned at the memory. All this time it had just been him walking around in la-la land, while she... What an idiot he had been! He wanted to bury his face in his hands and moan just thinking about it.

And in spite of everything he had done to make up for angering her he only dug his grave deeper. Maybe he had been on to something that would smooth things over but then the prince had shown up. Marth did not have to compromise. He could be Mr. Nice Guy and agree with everything Zelda said without risking a future of henpecking. If she had someone like that, why would she go through the trouble of sorting things out with him?

It would do no good to bring a sword when somebody else was bringing flowers. What was left? Surpassing Marth at his own game? The thought alone made every drop of the hero's blood freeze. He could not do that. After all his efforts he did still not understand what Zelda wanted, and apparently he never had. Marth, on the other hand, got it right on his first try. The prince was in his element charming her with elegance and eloquence. It was no contest. Just as Marth had said, if he so exposed all of his feelings completely, begged her to stay, offered her the world, was at her feet clutching the fabric of her dress, he would come up short. Be left in the dirt with nothing left to give. Only knowing, for certain, without a doubt, he was not good enough.

It was checkmate. Whichever way he turned there was a big fat rejection staring him square in the face, glaring at him to make a move so that it could strike. It made him want to flip the table over. Turn it on her. Why had she driven it to this? It should not have been like this to begin with. She had walked out on him too easily, deciding the break-up all on her own, without explaining, or giving him a chance to explain. What kind of person could throw away all that they had been through and shared without so much as a second thought? He would not think Ganondorf capable of something like that (well, maybe Ganondorf was the _one _exception, but not Zelda).

He had _wanted _to hurt her. He had wanted to inflict at least an inkling of the pain she had put him through. He wanted a sign that she was aware of what she was doing to him. That she felt _something_.

Then she had started to cry.

He should have been satisfied. His words had an impact. She was not a victim. He was right in telling her so. Then why did she have to make him feel as if he was kicking somebody he had already punched? Why did he have to feel like the bad guy? Even though he was right?

Worse was that any other day it would have broken him apart to see her cry. He would not have been put at rest until she was fine again. Any other day it would have smashed him to pieces to find out that he was the cause. Even when he hated her for crying, even when he had provoked her on purpose, even then, he had to suppress impulses to pull her to him, rub her back, stroke her hair, do something.

* * *

"I think you need to go after her."

Peach was standing with joined hands in front of her. For the first time ever Link felt that he was looking at the Peach Mario always described.

"But after... What will... How will it look if I?" Link scratched the back of his head.

"That's-a being spontaneous," Mario said, pointing at him. Through him. Up the stairs.

Link sucked in a deep breath of air, and straightened his back. Right. If there was anything Zelda would not expect it was that he would search her out first thing after what he had said. She was probably still crying, all alone, thinking he would never again want to have anything to do with her. It was as if he really had flipped the board, whether it had been a good or bad thing; all of a sudden there was room to move again. Now he could actually do something. Now he could either run, and let things end on this bad note, or he could face Zelda. He would not Cucco out on this. He would act on this, spontaneously.

"I'm not sure that..." Peach began.

"I'm going," Link said and Mario gave him a thumbs up, while the Mushroom Kingdom princess pouted. The latter was nothing Link noticed. He answered the plumber's encouragement with as confident a smile as he could put on and started conquering the stairs. Outside her door he pulled his hat off and ran his fingers through his blond hair. Deep breath now. He pressed the handle down, expecting to find it locked. Imagine his surprise when it glided open and he stumbled inside.

"I'm sorry I..." Zelda said, turning around with her palm pressed to her forehead. Upon finding who her visitor was she froze, and stared, much like him in his bent-over position with a hard grip around her door handle.

It did not take long for Link to note that she was not at all crying. Her eyes were still a bit puffy and red, but there were not so much as a shimmer of a wet trail left on her cheek. Her voice had been composed and she was up and walking, not at all collapsed on her bed in broken sobs. He pulled his hat back down over his head, with both hands, and wanted to laugh, really.

"You expected Marth, didn't you?" he said, a tone of mocking sneaking into his voice.

She hugged herself and pursed her lips.

He could not speak. Not turn away from her to close the door or walk out of it. Well, he told himself with a headshake, it was reasonable that she should expect Marth. The prince was always quick, too quick, to interrogate about her well-being.

"Look," Link began anew, taking a step forward. In a flash – a flash from a spiral of green light – Zelda disappeared and reappeared a step back. Link was frozen to the spot again, his hands petrified in their open gesture. Had she just teleported away from him? Not backed away but _teleported_? One. Single. Step? Although, it could have been a reflex. He relaxed, felt his muscles softening, and tried another step. With a "tch-tch-tch" – a sound like wind running through leaves – Zelda vanished in another green spiraling light and by the time his foot touched the floor, more because of gravity than out of his own accord, she was back, another step away. He grew tense. She remained stiff.

Link took a longer determined step towards her and she teleported an equal distance away. He took a full stride and the same thing happened again. He took another step, and another, until Zelda, by making the smallest turn in his direction upon reappearing, found her pauldron smacking into the wall. Her eyes widened and she drew away far enough to look at how close she had ended up to it. It was over. Link smirked the very second the shock hit her and dashed at her. His hands found the wall. His arms were around her.

Tch-tch-tch.

"Dammit."

He could feel her glare on his back. He hung his head, hands still on the wall. Of course cornering her did not mean that she would not be able to teleport. Cheating magical powers. He let his arms fall and shifted his weight between his feet a few times.

Zelda frowned. This particular body language almost suggested... It was dubitable if the princess had ever lost her composure the way she did when he turned around and got into fighting stance. His fingers moved swiftly in a typical "I'm coming to get you" fashion. There was an electric blue spark in his eye. She began to back away, shaking her head and mouthing "no" with every turn. It was the same horror she could never quite hide whenever he threatened to tickle her.

He went for her lower arm but, probably acting on pure instinct, her fingers snapped together, and the back of her hand slammed into his wrist and blocked him. A good move, but not good enough. Her hand was close and he barely had to twist his arm to grab her. Immediately, eyes ablaze with offense, the side of her free hand struck his wrist with concentrated force. He pulled away, a growling sound forcing its way past his teeth while rubbing the sore spot. Well, the pain was nothing, and she was not going to take him by surprise a second time.

The hero leapt at the princess and she scarcely moved out of his way. If he could get her under pressure this would be over and done with quickly. He knew he could not let up. She just barely evaded his moves. A hint of a frown or gritted teeth began to show every now and then. More frequently, he noted, as they made their way across the room. He was smelling victory when he saw past her shoulder that she was closing in on the still open door.

Oh, no you don't. He pressed his left foot down and sprung with his arm reaching out. She jumped back, leaned back, turned her arm away from his grasp, but to no avail.

"Gotcha!"

Ch-ch-ch.

Link could but stare at his hand grabbing at nothing. He tried squeezing but felt not so much as a Poe. He turned around, just in time to see Zelda with a hand on her hip and pursed lips slamming the door to her room shut, followed by the short dismissive click from the lock.

How? When? Why? He stared at the ugly piece of wood as had it appeared out of nowhere, which, if you asked him, it had. Zelda hadn't been angry. It had been lost in the playfulness. In her facade falling and letting him back in. Had he misunderstood something again? He looked to his left, spotting Peach and Mario still on the first floor. They ought to have got the gist of what had just happened, but judging by their faces, and the fact that they started walking upstairs side by side, they still expected him to tell them.

* * *

"You _chased _her?"

Peach moved her hands from her hips to cross her arms, uncrossed them and put them back on her hips. She opened and closed her mouth..

"I screwed up," Link said, slouching and staring into space, looking more apathetically miserable than Captain Falcon the day he found a millimeter scratch on his F-Zero machine.

"You sure did," Fox cut in, passing by. "Go to bed like everyone else. Or try to keep it down," he added, pointing to his ears and continuing down the hall.

Peach bit her bottom lip.

"It might not be that bad," she said without convincing anyone, least of all herself. "We'll come up with something. Maybe I should..."

"Let-a me talk to Zelda."

It would take a lot for Peach to stare at Mario as if he was a Mr. Saturn that had just proposed to her, but now she did.

"You've worked hard, Peachie," the plumber said. "Let-a me try."

She hesitated even though he was sure to have plenty of reasons behind those few words. It was not that she did not trust him. This was unexpected, yes, but maybe something unexpected was the right cure?

Mario knew she would comply. He also knew that he did not have to ask her to look after Link instead. Peach would not be able to sit around and do nothing, which was actually why he had decided to step in. It could not be denied that both Peach and Link had a tendency to care too much and neither of them were a quitter, and that could backfire when they got more and more entangled in troubles they tried to disentangle. Mario was sure everyone could use that they took a step back, took a few deep breaths, and then Link and Peach would be back with ten times more energy, and hopefully clearer minds.

The only thing that was still holding Mario back was whether it would be a good idea to let Peach, loving to fuss over people, pour her considerations and cares over his friend but one look at them and the plumber decided that he trusted them completely. The stout man knocked on Zelda's door, locked his hands behind his back rocked on the soles of his feet, waiting for a response that never came.

"It's-a me, Mario."

The door was unlocked and opened the tiniest bit. A soft "come in" could be heard from the other side and Mario did not hesitate a second to act on the offer. He closed the door behind him and had a look at the Hylian princess in front of him. The glumness and pallor about her was strengthened by the exhaustion of tears and the smile she greeted him with could only be described as corners being pulled upwards for a second to be instantly let go of. There was absolutely nothing more than a motion to it.

Zelda lead the way over to her desk and Mario was about to follow when a thought struck him. He reopened the door, not the least surprised to find Peach and Link jumping back from it. Peach tried to cover up her blush while Link, still as lively as Mewtwo at a funeral, looked to the side. The plumber closed the door again, sure that they would not linger.

"What do you want?" Zelda said in a business-like manner, pulling the desk chair in a diagonal line over to the armchair by the small bookcase.

"I-a came to check-a on you," he said, jumping onto the soft cushion of the armchair with his feet dangling off the floor.

"How kind of you."

He had trouble reading her. Although, did that really matter?

"I don't-a think he meant it-a."

"He meant every word."

"He loves-a you."

The smile Zelda gave in return made Mario stop swinging his legs.

"I cannot see how that would be of any relevance when all we do is hurt each other. Why prolong the charade? I would even say it was for the better that he said what he did. I wished for a brief aftermath and this way we shan't wish to speak a word to each other."

Mario eyed the ceiling and drew a finger across his mustache.

"But you don't-a look happy."

"If I am not, I shall be, and I rather it be so than the other way around."

Mario shook his head. "He loves you. You love him. No need to make things more-a complicated." He held up a finger as she was about to speak. "He wants-a to make you happy. Let-a him. Explain to him."

It was a surprise to see Zelda allow a painful expression on her face. Or maybe she fought it? She pulled her shoulders up and spoke with lips that wanted to be pressed shut.

"I thought I had already tried to explain in every way possible. I have told him exactly why I am upset and what I want from him. Even when I spell it out he refuses to see."

"It's-a okay to cry," Mario said, but the princess had already blinked the tears back.

"I do love him and that is precisely why nothing makes me feel as desperate as not getting through to him. It's like I am separated from him by a wall only I can see through. Like I don't exist."

Zelda's head snapped back up when Mario touched her hand. Being faced with a broad smile, warm eyes and soft features, she thought of something Peach used to say. Mario would never brood on things. Clouds would never conquer his mind. Above all, he had a good heart.

"No explaining what-a _he_ should do. Tell him how-a _you_ feel and he'll make you smile his own way. You'll see."

"Make me smile? That ought to be the last thing on his mind."

Mario's hand stayed on top of Zelda's, secure and warm.

"Tell him how-a you feel. Just-a that. He loves you."

* * *

(A/N)

Hopefully this chapter managed to shed some light on Link's point of view. I do not want to write a story where one is right and the other is wrong. I think it is important to try to see every character (at least every major character) as a protagonist. At least it helps me in life to think that we all carry around novels filled with reasoning and explanations that justify ourselves the same way a protagonist is sold to a reader. When there is a disagreement each person has a whole novel backing them up. In writing, I think it will not turn out well to write a character based on assumptions or interpretation or we end up with flat stereotypes, an outside view with no understanding. We need a bit of that protagonist viewpoint, and we are ourselves a great source for that.

Now to my favorite part. Thank you reviewers!

I am sorry that Ike is not in the story and I thought I could only dream of Link and Zelda's argument to come across as realistic. I have too poor a grasp of reality to ever hope to capture it, though that is why I try hard to keep both Link and Zelda's perspective in mind. It was actually my intention for Link to have a point and Zelda to have faults.

Ha ha, I can actually imagine Link giving poetry a shot. Although I picture him trying it out in secret, being too hard on himself and throwing it all in the trash bin.

Thank you for reading. Special thanks to the reviewers. Späsjal Thänks to the anonymous person who touched my heart. I wanted to fall to my knees, raise my arms to the sky and cry, "yes, yes, yes!" That is exactly it! You got it completely. It is more praise than I am worthy of but you put my ambitions into words. I almost drained the batteries of my phone reading the review over and over (in spite of needing it to call about my arrival so that I could be picked up at the station). I think that requires some special thanks.

Lastly, even if I complain about my own writing there are actually two beautiful sentences to be found in this chapter. They were edited by my dear friend Lays. Thank you!


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